Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Your Tastes Are Completely Subjective. Or Not.

A few years ago Reha and I were driving around doing errands (code word for trying to find a buyer for a surly two year old) and listening to something off my iPod.

Reha: I think I’ve figured out why you like these guys.

Me: Why I like The Smiths, you mean?

Reha: Yeah, I know why.

Me: I’ll bite, why?

Reha: Because they can’t sing either.

Oh, snap!

And I got to thinking, a significant amount of the music I like is well within the specs of my own vocal talents. i.e., not a huge range of notes and tonal quality is a gratuitous afterthought at best. Let’s take a quick tour of my iTunes Library, shall we?

The Smiths: It’s all about the whine, baby. And the Girlfriend in a Coma, of course. Can’t forget her.

Rush: Too dorky for comment, really. But obviously Geddy Lee is not known for a purty, sonorous voice. But you can use the “Fly by Night” album as paint remover in a pinch if you don’t want to scoot down to the local Home Depot. Simply set up a stereo in a room, crank the volume to 11 when “Anthem” comes on and presto! no more paint on the walls. (Though surprisingly, you can’t use the “Presto” album for this purpose).

Ben Folds: He’s kind of borderline, frankly. Though I think he sings pretty well, I don’t think anyone would put him on a “Best Crooner” list. But his stuff is full of Awesome and Win and Loverly-ness, so he gets a pass.

Echo and the Bunnymen: Again, whiny. And the vocal range seems to be limited to 12 notes.

The Kinks: Ray Davies may be many things, but excellent vocalist is not one of them.

Dire Straights/Mark Knopfler: Nasally voice. Plus, it’s all about the guitar with Mark, I think.

Radiohead: Fine, I have finally succumbed to massive peer pressure and I like Radiohead now. But it sho’ nuff ain’t about Thom Yorke’s voice. Unless you consider his thin, reedy mewl the height of artistic valuation, you simply must agree that he has a pretty awful singing voice. “OK, Computer” may be a masterpiece and I finally enjoy it, but I just want to give him a hug and giant bag of Reese’s Pieces, poor thing.

Steely Dan/Donald Fagen: His voice is also useful as a pest repellant. Put on Steely Dan’s “A Decade of Steely Dan,” wait 45 minutes, then head outside to watch hundreds of mice and other vermin scurrying out of your house, suitcases in hand. Yes, in my world, all mice have tiny valises.

Morphine: Man, I L-O-V-E Mark Sandman and Morphine. But if I had to dig down deep, a significant part of my affection lies within his gravelly, low and essentially monotone thrum of a voice. Bonus! When you have a head cold, you can sing Morphine songs even better.

Led Zeppelin: Can’t even understand stand half of what Robert Plant is singing. Some consider this a good thing.

I could go on like this for a while. Even the few female singers I like aren’t all that great, frankly. I have a huge crush on Liz Phair, but it’s not for her voice, trust me.

I’m usually not one to criticize anyone’s musical tastes, since they are completely subjective and utterly personal, but I hadn’t really ever noticed that I seem particularly drawn to vocal pip-squeaks. So I’m grateful to my Celine Dion loving wife to have helped me in my journey.

Ohh! That reminds me: Journey! Though I never like Journey all that much, Steve Perry wasn’t that great a singer either, was he? More of a screamer as I recall. Perhaps I should re-visit their back catalog.

Jon scribbled this mess on 01/22/08 at 11:53 AM, best we can tell it fits in the category of Regular Post. This many folks had something to say about that, The permanent home of this entry is here: Link

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