Monday, November 06, 2006
You Can’t Eat Your Way to Happiness, But It’s Fun to Try
Since running the marathon approximately a month ago I have eaten a herd of elephants. No really, it’s true. A small herd of pachyderms. If you don’t believe me, ask the park ranger who lives next door. He’s mightly upset about losing Dumbo to me for lunch the other day.
Anyway, I’ve basically sucked all the life right out of the “Hey, I ran a marathon, I can eat whatever the hell I want” excuse. You can only use it for so long before it just stops working and people start calling you a pig and stop inviting you over for dinner.
I’ve gained seven pounds in the process. Or possibly more. I’m not super strict about weighing myself, but I do know that I weigh more than I did when I ran the stupid race. But let me tell you, it’s been so very nice to be able to look at all the kid’s halloween candy and say, “Yeah, I think I’ll dig my way to the bottom of that pillowcase full of Reese’s in one sitting.” Sorry, Lucas, but you need to hide your candy from dear old Dad better.
The strange thing about training for the marathon was that I didn’t lose as much weight as I thought I would. I lost a few pounds (maybe eight to ten), but I really expected to look like one of those skinny Kenyan guys after all of that. I’d be the super pale, blond, but mostly bald Kenyan, I guess. I think it’s because toward the end of the training, when I was running about thirty or so miles a week, I was also eating everything in sight. No lie. I ate one of the kids after a run one night. Tasty when braised with a light cream sauce!
So though no one really cares except me, I’ve have no decided to go back on some kind of diet (which basically means, “stop raiding the halloween candy") and start running and excercising again. Sigh. Eating anything I wanted (i.e. Cookie Dough ice cream, topped with Magic Shell™ (that stuff made out of paraffin that gets hard and crackly on ice cream) and then sprinkled with chocolate malted milk mix (and that was just the appetizer, never long the dessert (think gooey cinammon rolls for dessert)) was fun while it lasted, but I guess all good things must come to an end.
This is me trying my hardest to get excited about eating salad for lunch and not eating a toasted asiago bagel with cream cheese for breakfast. And why can’t french fries be more diet friendly? There ain’t no justice in the world, I’m tellin’ ya. Man, I love french fries.
Favorite Entries
If you are new around here, the following entries have been reasonably well received. You might want to peruse these.
- Correspondence
- Help Wanted
- From the Office of Mis-directed Email
- A Word from the Small Person in the House
- RNT Product Review: Chocolate Mix Skittles Left Me Sterile!
- Jon’s Report Card circa… A Long Time Ago
- Dear Gratuitously Naked Conversationalist at the Gym:
- A Peek Inside the Writer’s Guild and Producers’ Negotiations
- We Regret the Error
- Letters from a Homeowner to His General Contractor
- What I Did There
- Hermaphrodite Administrative Assistants and Receptionists Need Not Apply
- Giving Me an IM Account Was Obviously a Huge Mistake
- Official Ransom Note Typography Vista vs. Mac OS X Shootout
- I Need a Real Hobby
- Beat Down
- Big Fat Lies
- True Love
- Now MY Ovaries Hurt
- Don’t Get Her Started
- Disturbing Trend
- Had to do it
- Mooshy stuff
- Ransom Note Typography End User License Agreement “EULA”
- Diva-licious!
- Just so we’re clear
- PETA may have a point
Holy Crap! Look at all this STUFF down here. It's awesome!
Search
Categories
Recent
- Hey, He Made a List! (Twitter Favs, 2008 Edition)
- This Is Why People Rarely Do Nice Things for Me
- Who’s That Goofy Guy Standing Next to the Hot Pregnant Woman?
- Hi There! I Am the Personification of a First World Problem
- Off Label Use is Contraindicated
- Motivational Items
- Partners
- Metal
- Correspondence
- Happy Obama Day! Free Puppies for Everyone!
- My 15 Minutes of Fame Clock Reads 14:58
- Citrus Fruit Season Is Now Officially Over (Part 2 of Navel Gazing)
- Fall Fashion Guide
- I Don’t Even Know What to Say Here
- So Much Navel Gazing, I May Be A Citrus Fruit
Archives
- December 2008
- November 2008
- October 2008
- September 2008
- August 2008
- July 2008
- June 2008
- May 2008
- April 2008
- March 2008
- February 2008
- January 2008
- December 2007
- November 2007
- October 2007
- September 2007
- August 2007
- July 2007
- June 2007
- May 2007
- April 2007
- March 2007
- February 2007
- January 2007
- December 2006
- November 2006
- October 2006
- September 2006
- August 2006
- July 2006
- June 2006
- May 2006
- April 2006
- March 2006
- February 2006
- January 2006
- December 2005
- November 2005
- October 2005
- September 2005
- Complete Archives
- Category Archives
Really, I'm glad you made it down here. Almost no one ever comes down here. I'm like in a freaking dungeon down here. I get lonely. But not you. YOU made it all the way to the end of the page. For this I think I've a little crush on you. I don't know, is "love" to strong a word to use in this situation? Well, if it's not "love," then it's very strong "like." I'm totally in like with you for coming down here. You are awesome. Please love me back! I know, I know, I shouldn't be all needy, it's not attractive at all, but you don't know how it is to be stuck down here. Who scrolls all the way to the end of a page anymore these days? Anyway, thanks for shedding some light down here in the depths. I appreciate it. Shoot me an email and I'll send you a dollar, OK?
©2005-2008 Jon B. Deal All Rights Reserved. I'm not kidding around here, I know people who know other people who would be willing to beat you up or similarly infringe on your rights, should you happen to infringe on my rights.
