Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Wonder If He’ll Refund Any of That Cash

Again, I just can’t help myself and I wade forth into Presidential Primary Politics.

According to published reports, Rudy Giuliani spent about $30 million dollars in his abortive presidential run after raising $47 million.

After about six years of campaigning for the 2008 nomination, a few thousand speeches about 9/11 and how 9/11 is this and 9/11 is that and that all things flow freely from the 9/11 treasure trove of dogma, ignoring Iowa and New Hampshire (to his political peril, duh) and spending more time in Florida than a 1980s-era coke dealer; poor Rudy-G got ONE delegate. (Technically, he’s gotten two, but that second is an undeclared mucky-muck, so let’s not count that one, it’s more fun that way). Plus, that one delegate he won is in Nevada of all places. Whatever.

$30 ho-jillion clams for ONE scrawny delegate.

Ouch. Not a great Return on Investment there, Rudy.

My thought: Rudy’s going to use that one delegate to break a dead-heat tie between McCain and Romney and become the “king-maker” at the brokered convention. “Mitt, John, I release my lone delegate to whichever of you makes me a Supreme Court nominee if elected. And whichever of you can get me a pony. With sparkles. Fetch me a sparkle pony! Now!”

And he’ll use that clout to muscle his way into a prime time speech a the Republican convention where he will talk about how he saved the planet on 9/11 and made the world safe for ponies everywhere.

I’m just guessing, though.

Except about the sparkle pony, Rudy loves him some glitter-y equine.

Favorite Entries

If you are new around here, the following entries have been reasonably well received. You might want to peruse these.

• Help Wanted
• From the Office of Mis-directed Email
• A Word from the Small Person in the House
• RNT Product Review: Chocolate Mix Skittles Left Me Sterile!
• Jon’s Report Card circa… A Long Time Ago
• Dear Gratuitously Naked Conversationalist at the Gym:
• A Peek Inside the Writer’s Guild and Producers’ Negotiations
• We Regret the Error
• Letters from a Homeowner to His General Contractor
• What I Did There
• Hermaphrodite Administrative Assistants and Receptionists Need Not Apply
• Giving Me an IM Account Was Obviously a Huge Mistake
• Official Ransom Note Typography Vista vs. Mac OS X Shootout
• I Need a Real Hobby
• Beat Down
• Big Fat Lies
• True Love
• Now MY Ovaries Hurt
• Don’t Get Her Started
• Disturbing Trend
• Had to do it
• Mooshy stuff
• Ransom Note Typography End User License Agreement “EULA”
• Diva-licious!
• Just so we’re clear
• PETA may have a point

Holy Crap! Look at all this STUFF down here. It's awesome!

Really, I'm glad you made it down here. Almost no one ever comes down here. I'm like in a freaking dungeon down here. I get lonely. But not you. YOU made it all the way to the end of the page. For this I think I've a little crush on you. I don't know, is "love" to strong a word to use in this situation? Well, if it's not "love," then it's very strong "like." I'm totally in like with you for coming down here. You are awesome. Please love me back! I know, I know, I shouldn't be all needy, it's not attractive at all, but you don't know how it is to be stuck down here. Who scrolls all the way to the end of a page anymore these days? Anyway, thanks for shedding some light down here in the depths. I appreciate it. Shoot me an email and I'll send you a dollar, OK?

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