Monday, December 08, 2008

Who’s That Goofy Guy Standing Next to the Hot Pregnant Woman?

So Very Young, originally uploaded by zuhl.

Reha and I got married on August 26, 1989.

Approximately 18 days later (but who’s counting), we got pregnant with Carrie. (Note, I was in deep denial about that for a while) (Of course). I was sure Reha just had some kind of hormonal imbalance that caused her to stop having periods and perhaps a giant cyst (benign, naturally) that caused her ever expanding belly. Carrie’s nickname for a while was the “beloved tumor.”

Mostly, I’m showing you this because I think it’s important that people understand a few things.

• Based on photos such as this, one might conclude that in the late 80s, people could get married when they were 12. NOT ACTUALLY TRUE.


• Once upon a time, I had glorious and magnificent hair.


• You shouldn’t judge someone merely because they wear goofy glasses. And pink shirts.


• Fine, go ahead and judge.


• I’ll just be over here, weeping quietly over my lost youth. And my lost hair.

Anyway, Reha was at least seven months pregnant in this shot. Possibly eight.

Funny thing (to me, at least). She basically looks exactly the same. Not pregnant, you ninny, but she doesn’t look old or anything. (See the photos here and tell me she doesn’t look the same.)

Whereas I, though still devastatingly handsome (natch), look completely different.

The beard is the key I’m sure. Most 12 year olds can’t grow a beard.

Favorite Entries

If you are new around here, the following entries have been reasonably well received. You might want to peruse these.

• Partners
• Correspondence
• Help Wanted
• From the Office of Mis-directed Email
• A Word from the Small Person in the House
• RNT Product Review: Chocolate Mix Skittles Left Me Sterile!
• Jon’s Report Card circa… A Long Time Ago
• Dear Gratuitously Naked Conversationalist at the Gym:
• A Peek Inside the Writer’s Guild and Producers’ Negotiations
• We Regret the Error
• Letters from a Homeowner to His General Contractor
• What I Did There
• Hermaphrodite Administrative Assistants and Receptionists Need Not Apply
• Giving Me an IM Account Was Obviously a Huge Mistake
• Official Ransom Note Typography Vista vs. Mac OS X Shootout
• I Need a Real Hobby
• Beat Down
• Big Fat Lies
• True Love
• Now MY Ovaries Hurt
• Don’t Get Her Started
• Disturbing Trend
• Had to do it
• Mooshy stuff
• Ransom Note Typography End User License Agreement “EULA”
• Diva-licious!
• Just so we’re clear
• PETA may have a point

Holy Crap! Look at all this STUFF down here. It's awesome!

Really, I'm glad you made it down here. Almost no one ever comes down here. I'm like in a freaking dungeon down here. I get lonely. But not you. YOU made it all the way to the end of the page. For this I think I've a little crush on you. I don't know, is "love" to strong a word to use in this situation? Well, if it's not "love," then it's very strong "like." I'm totally in like with you for coming down here. You are awesome. Please love me back! I know, I know, I shouldn't be all needy, it's not attractive at all, but you don't know how it is to be stuck down here. Who scrolls all the way to the end of a page anymore these days? Anyway, thanks for shedding some light down here in the depths. I appreciate it. Shoot me an email and I'll send you a dollar, OK?

©2005-2009 Jon B. Deal All Rights Reserved. I'm not kidding around here, I know people who know other people who would be willing to beat you up or similarly infringe on your rights, should you happen to infringe on my rights.