Friday, October 07, 2005

To the Batcave, Robin!

I’m usually a fairly realxed guy. And as you peruse the “rants” section, you can see that my pet peeves are minor. Really, I almost didn’t even include that section, because I just figured that I wouldn’t even have enough content for it.

But, this kind of crap just about kills me. See that Chevy Avalanche there in the photo? See what it says down on the concrete labeling the space? That’s right, it says “C-O-M-P-A-C-T” you big dumb SUV driving LOSER!

When you have to step up TWO feet just to get into your vehicle it no longer falls into the category of “compact.”

And, what’s with the “batman” style parking job? Why do people, men usually, feel the need to park this way? I call it Batman style. Like, I know that I’m soooo important that when I leave here (a bank parking lot), I will have to depart with such fury and vigor that I can’t afford the time it takes to back out like a normal person. Don’t you see the signal in the sky? Commissioner Gordon needs us! Come Robin!!

The other day I saw a Hummer H2 parked in one of those spaces. It took up once and a half spaces, no lie! Why, people, why?

Favorite Entries

If you are new around here, the following entries have been reasonably well received. You might want to peruse these.

• Help Wanted
• From the Office of Mis-directed Email
• A Word from the Small Person in the House
• RNT Product Review: Chocolate Mix Skittles Left Me Sterile!
• Jon’s Report Card circa… A Long Time Ago
• Dear Gratuitously Naked Conversationalist at the Gym:
• A Peek Inside the Writer’s Guild and Producers’ Negotiations
• We Regret the Error
• Letters from a Homeowner to His General Contractor
• What I Did There
• Hermaphrodite Administrative Assistants and Receptionists Need Not Apply
• Giving Me an IM Account Was Obviously a Huge Mistake
• Official Ransom Note Typography Vista vs. Mac OS X Shootout
• I Need a Real Hobby
• Beat Down
• Big Fat Lies
• True Love
• Now MY Ovaries Hurt
• Don’t Get Her Started
• Disturbing Trend
• Had to do it
• Mooshy stuff
• Ransom Note Typography End User License Agreement “EULA”
• Diva-licious!
• Just so we’re clear
• PETA may have a point

Holy Crap! Look at all this STUFF down here. It's awesome!

Really, I'm glad you made it down here. Almost no one ever comes down here. I'm like in a freaking dungeon down here. I get lonely. But not you. YOU made it all the way to the end of the page. For this I think I've a little crush on you. I don't know, is "love" to strong a word to use in this situation? Well, if it's not "love," then it's very strong "like." I'm totally in like with you for coming down here. You are awesome. Please love me back! I know, I know, I shouldn't be all needy, it's not attractive at all, but you don't know how it is to be stuck down here. Who scrolls all the way to the end of a page anymore these days? Anyway, thanks for shedding some light down here in the depths. I appreciate it. Shoot me an email and I'll send you a dollar, OK?

©2005-2008 Jon B. Deal All Rights Reserved. I'm not kidding around here, I know people who know other people who would be willing to beat you up or similarly infringe on your rights, should you happen to infringe on my rights.