Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Talk Amongst Yourselves

Salient Facts:

1. Reha is out of town until Friday night.


2. Because of #1 and my sixteen children, I lack the will to live after 8:30 PM, never long try and be witty, clever or funny


3. Jonah, the poster child for ADD, has a book report due on Wed. We will both be lucky to be alive come Wednesday morning.


4. Normal work stuff: Big Client, Tight Deadlines, Insanity, the Usual Fare™.


5. The new Madonna album drops today. (OK, technically, I don’t really care about Madonna’s new album, but I really don’t care about GTA IV coming out today and that’s about the only other thing happening in media right now.


6. I am bereft of creativity.

Take all those and stir them up in a pot (a hefty dose of #6, of course) and what do you have? A giant soufflé that deflates on your plate:

I’ll be back next week.

Wait, are you smirking? Stop that!

This is serious stuff! I can’t just let the kids fend for themselves, lock myself in the bedroom and write! (I generally write late in the evenings).

I have to be all responsible and be the Main Parental Unit for a WEEK!

People won’t get fed unless I do it!

Well, technically we have enough junk in the house that the kids could just graze and scrounge enough calories to get by, but NOT on my watch, baby! Real meals. With vegetables and hitting all the major food groups. At Chez Dad we dine well. Or we go out to someplace that has all the major food groups and takes AmEx.

Anyway, this week is going to be goofier than usual for me and updates will be virtually non-existent, I suspect.

Favorite Entries

If you are new around here, the following entries have been reasonably well received. You might want to peruse these.

• Partners
• Correspondence
• Help Wanted
• From the Office of Mis-directed Email
• A Word from the Small Person in the House
• RNT Product Review: Chocolate Mix Skittles Left Me Sterile!
• Jon’s Report Card circa… A Long Time Ago
• Dear Gratuitously Naked Conversationalist at the Gym:
• A Peek Inside the Writer’s Guild and Producers’ Negotiations
• We Regret the Error
• Letters from a Homeowner to His General Contractor
• What I Did There
• Hermaphrodite Administrative Assistants and Receptionists Need Not Apply
• Giving Me an IM Account Was Obviously a Huge Mistake
• Official Ransom Note Typography Vista vs. Mac OS X Shootout
• I Need a Real Hobby
• Beat Down
• Big Fat Lies
• True Love
• Now MY Ovaries Hurt
• Don’t Get Her Started
• Disturbing Trend
• Had to do it
• Mooshy stuff
• Ransom Note Typography End User License Agreement “EULA”
• Diva-licious!
• Just so we’re clear
• PETA may have a point

Holy Crap! Look at all this STUFF down here. It's awesome!

Really, I'm glad you made it down here. Almost no one ever comes down here. I'm like in a freaking dungeon down here. I get lonely. But not you. YOU made it all the way to the end of the page. For this I think I've a little crush on you. I don't know, is "love" to strong a word to use in this situation? Well, if it's not "love," then it's very strong "like." I'm totally in like with you for coming down here. You are awesome. Please love me back! I know, I know, I shouldn't be all needy, it's not attractive at all, but you don't know how it is to be stuck down here. Who scrolls all the way to the end of a page anymore these days? Anyway, thanks for shedding some light down here in the depths. I appreciate it. Shoot me an email and I'll send you a dollar, OK?

©2005-2010 Jon B. Deal All Rights Reserved. I'm not kidding around here, I know people who know other people who would be willing to beat you up or similarly infringe on your rights, should you happen to infringe on my rights.