Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Somthing’s wrong with that boy

So I’m a funny guy, generally speaking, if I do say so myself. Reha once commented that being married to me was like hanging out with Steve Martin all the time. Which is high praise, indeed. There’s just something in my personality that makes/allows me to go for the funny quip rather than the serious or even appropriate thing. I’m sure it’s some weird interpersonal keep-everyone-at-a-distance behavior that can be looked at in a couple of ways. One, fun guy to be around and two, annoying as hell.

Like so much in life, the “go to the funny” gene is a two edged sword.

Never has this been more apparent to me than when I was coming out of the fog of anesthesia and the nurse began to ask me questions. “How are doing?” “Can you wake up?” That sort of thing. Standard post-op fare, I suppose.

One of the questions they asked (a couple of times, I remember) was “Do you know what surgery you had today?” or “Do you know why you are here?” The exact details escape me. I do remember thinking that there wasn’t any way I was going to be able to pull “I had surgery to correct strabismus” out of my foggy butt.

But my answer at least one of those times, was “I had breast augmentation surgery.”

That was pretty funny to at least someone in the room, I remember.

And though I have the barest of memories, it’s all quite the blur, at some point I overheard the nurse tell the doc that I thought I’d had breast augmentation surgery. I grabbed my chest and said “they feel good.” And I don’t know if it made it out of my mouth, but I have some vague thing rolling around in my head about liking “my new stripper boobs. Thank you very much.”

Kind of hope I didn’t say that last part. That could be slipping over onto the sharp edge of the sword.

Favorite Entries

If you are new around here, the following entries have been reasonably well received. You might want to peruse these.

• From the Office of Mis-directed Email
• Jon’s Report Card circa… A Long Time Ago
• Dear Gratuitously Naked Conversationalist at the Gym:
• A Peek Inside the Writer’s Guild and Producers’ Negotiations
• We Regret the Error
• What I Did There
• Hermaphrodite Administrative Assistants and Receptionists Need Not Apply
• Giving Me an IM Account Was Obviously a Huge Mistake
• Official Ransom Note Typography Vista vs. Mac OS X Shootout
• I Need a Real Hobby
• Beat Down
• Big Fat Lies
• True Love
• Now MY Ovaries Hurt
• Don’t Get Her Started
• Disturbing Trend
• Had to do it
• Mooshy stuff
• Ransom Note Typography End User License Agreement “EULA”
• Diva-licious!
• Just so we’re clear
• PETA may have a point

Holy Crap! Look at all this STUFF down here. It's awesome!

Really, I'm glad you made it down here. Almost no one ever comes down here. I'm like in a freaking dungeon down here. I get lonely. But not you. YOU made it all the way to the end of the page. For this I think I've a little crush on you. I don't know, is "love" to strong a word to use in this situation? Well, if it's not "love," then it's very strong "like." I'm totally in like with you for coming down here. You are awesome. Please love me back! I know, I know, I shouldn't be all needy, it's not attractive at all, but you don't know how it is to be stuck down here. Who scrolls all the way to the end of a page anymore these days? Anyway, thanks for shedding some light down here in the depths. I appreciate it. Shoot me an email and I'll send you a dollar, OK?

©2005-2008 Jon B. Deal All Rights Reserved. I'm not kidding around here, I know people who know other people who would be willing to beat you up or similarly infringe on your rights, should you happen to infringe on my rights.