Thursday, February 07, 2008
So Crazy It Just Might Work
I can’t decide if I should be proud or appalled.
Lucas (13 and in 8th grade) has come up with a rather sure fire money making plan.
He noticed that his junior high school sells 20 oz. bottles of Coke products out of vending machines for $1.25. This is of course, highway robbery and a travesty of epic proportions.
But our man Lucas sees this as an opportunity to muscle in on the market.
He’s taken to smuggling cans of soda in his backpack to school and storing them in his locker and backpack until lunchtime. At which point he hangs out by the vending machines, selling his wares and undercutting the vending machine price rather significantly.
And he doesn’t just sell normal sodas. He’s branched out into those goofy “energy” drinks that the kids love so much. He sells those for a much higher profit margin.
Seriously, he’s worked it all out on a little piece of graph paper. He knows exactly how much he’ll make on each case he can move. Market analysis and stuff.
I’m all for it, of course.
Except.
He has to sneak all this stuff around and hide it in his locker and treat it like it’s contraband. Because certainly the school would frown upon this sort of activity. I’m also pretty sure that the school gets a cut from Coca-Cola in exchange for exclusivity on campus. So he could get into trouble, which would be sad for our normally well-behaved little guy.
And I’m very much of two minds about pointing out to him that he could get even more inventory to school if he squirreled away cans in his sax case. But his cute blue eye lit up when I told him that, so it’s hard to feel too bad about it.
And I say things to him like, “Don’t drink that Mountain Dew! Dude! You don’t get high on your own supply!”
As a nominally responsible father figure, I’m just not sure how comfortable I feel promoting all this. I’m essentially telling him it’s OK to get around the rules, even if the rules are dumb. And I’m sure that at some point he’ll see my rules (such as they are) are “totally dumb” and feel like he can avoid those as well.
Plus, we’ve bankrolled his initial inventory and he’s being evasive about when he’s paying us back.
“Yeah, I’ll get you that money soon. Real Soon Now. I promise. I just have to move some more product tomorrow.”
If I start seeing phone calls to Bogata, Colombia on our phone bill, that’s when I’ll start to get really worried.
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Really, I'm glad you made it down here. Almost no one ever comes down here. I'm like in a freaking dungeon down here. I get lonely. But not you. YOU made it all the way to the end of the page. For this I think I've a little crush on you. I don't know, is "love" to strong a word to use in this situation? Well, if it's not "love," then it's very strong "like." I'm totally in like with you for coming down here. You are awesome. Please love me back! I know, I know, I shouldn't be all needy, it's not attractive at all, but you don't know how it is to be stuck down here. Who scrolls all the way to the end of a page anymore these days? Anyway, thanks for shedding some light down here in the depths. I appreciate it. Shoot me an email and I'll send you a dollar, OK?
©2005-2008 Jon B. Deal All Rights Reserved. I'm not kidding around here, I know people who know other people who would be willing to beat you up or similarly infringe on your rights, should you happen to infringe on my rights.
