Monday, October 22, 2007

Royalty Checks Are Always Welcome

My oldest son Lucas would like everyone and especially the thieving masses out on the IntarWebs to know that he invented this term:

Poop in a hat!

Our little eighth grader is currently riding a wave of linguistic creativity. His mother is so proud as you can imagine. If you are going to take up the cause and begin to use the phrase, he would like you to know a couple things.

It is primarily an exclamation, used to convey both surprise and disappointment. viz.:

”Poop in a hat! I accidentally flossed the cat again.”

There are variations on the “poop in a hat” theme. Someone who is loathsome and not worthy of your attention might be a hat pooper. As in:

“Why did you delete all my saved episodes of ‘Three’s Company’ you big hat pooper?! You know I love that one where they have the big misunderstanding with Mr. Roper!”

And it’s quite a versatile turn of phrase since you can easily change it to an adjective clause:

“Hey! Get your hat poopin’ face back over here and stop bleeding all over the furniture!”

Should you use the phrase poop in a hat or any of its derivative works in a sentence, please send nickel to him, care of me at Ransom Note Typography World HQ. We’ll make sure it gets put in the “college fund” (AKA, the “daddy needs a big ol’ flat screen that does 1080p fund”.)

Favorite Entries

If you are new around here, the following entries have been reasonably well received. You might want to peruse these.

• Help Wanted
• From the Office of Mis-directed Email
• A Word from the Small Person in the House
• RNT Product Review: Chocolate Mix Skittles Left Me Sterile!
• Jon’s Report Card circa… A Long Time Ago
• Dear Gratuitously Naked Conversationalist at the Gym:
• A Peek Inside the Writer’s Guild and Producers’ Negotiations
• We Regret the Error
• Letters from a Homeowner to His General Contractor
• What I Did There
• Hermaphrodite Administrative Assistants and Receptionists Need Not Apply
• Giving Me an IM Account Was Obviously a Huge Mistake
• Official Ransom Note Typography Vista vs. Mac OS X Shootout
• I Need a Real Hobby
• Beat Down
• Big Fat Lies
• True Love
• Now MY Ovaries Hurt
• Don’t Get Her Started
• Disturbing Trend
• Had to do it
• Mooshy stuff
• Ransom Note Typography End User License Agreement “EULA”
• Diva-licious!
• Just so we’re clear
• PETA may have a point

Holy Crap! Look at all this STUFF down here. It's awesome!

Really, I'm glad you made it down here. Almost no one ever comes down here. I'm like in a freaking dungeon down here. I get lonely. But not you. YOU made it all the way to the end of the page. For this I think I've a little crush on you. I don't know, is "love" to strong a word to use in this situation? Well, if it's not "love," then it's very strong "like." I'm totally in like with you for coming down here. You are awesome. Please love me back! I know, I know, I shouldn't be all needy, it's not attractive at all, but you don't know how it is to be stuck down here. Who scrolls all the way to the end of a page anymore these days? Anyway, thanks for shedding some light down here in the depths. I appreciate it. Shoot me an email and I'll send you a dollar, OK?

©2005-2008 Jon B. Deal All Rights Reserved. I'm not kidding around here, I know people who know other people who would be willing to beat you up or similarly infringe on your rights, should you happen to infringe on my rights.