Friday, May 18, 2007
Remote Control Violence
I’m at the kitchen table, pounding away on a work project which never seems to die, but keeps limping along, sapping me of my precious bodily fluids as the days pass. I’m logged into my zillion IM accounts, because, well, I don’t know, really, Adium just happens to be open. So I IM to my oldest daughter Carrie, who will be first in line to get the MSN skin embedded chat client when it comes out in the next few years.
Me: is lucas still there?
Carrie: He is.
Me: as soon as whatever he’s watching [on TV] is over or 11 (whichever comes first), he has to go to bed.
Carrie: It’s over.
Me: smack him!
Carrie: I did
Me: and tell him I said to go to bed!
Me: i didn’t hear an outburst
Me: better smack him again
Seconds later, I hear Lucas, “Hey! Why’d you do that? Ow!”
We are the modern American family.
Favorite Entries
If you are new around here, the following entries have been reasonably well received. You might want to peruse these.
- Help Wanted
- From the Office of Mis-directed Email
- A Word from the Small Person in the House
- RNT Product Review: Chocolate Mix Skittles Left Me Sterile!
- Jon’s Report Card circa… A Long Time Ago
- Dear Gratuitously Naked Conversationalist at the Gym:
- A Peek Inside the Writer’s Guild and Producers’ Negotiations
- We Regret the Error
- Letters from a Homeowner to His General Contractor
- What I Did There
- Hermaphrodite Administrative Assistants and Receptionists Need Not Apply
- Giving Me an IM Account Was Obviously a Huge Mistake
- Official Ransom Note Typography Vista vs. Mac OS X Shootout
- I Need a Real Hobby
- Beat Down
- Big Fat Lies
- True Love
- Now MY Ovaries Hurt
- Don’t Get Her Started
- Disturbing Trend
- Had to do it
- Mooshy stuff
- Ransom Note Typography End User License Agreement “EULA”
- Diva-licious!
- Just so we’re clear
- PETA may have a point
Holy Crap! Look at all this STUFF down here. It's awesome!
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Really, I'm glad you made it down here. Almost no one ever comes down here. I'm like in a freaking dungeon down here. I get lonely. But not you. YOU made it all the way to the end of the page. For this I think I've a little crush on you. I don't know, is "love" to strong a word to use in this situation? Well, if it's not "love," then it's very strong "like." I'm totally in like with you for coming down here. You are awesome. Please love me back! I know, I know, I shouldn't be all needy, it's not attractive at all, but you don't know how it is to be stuck down here. Who scrolls all the way to the end of a page anymore these days? Anyway, thanks for shedding some light down here in the depths. I appreciate it. Shoot me an email and I'll send you a dollar, OK?
©2005-2008 Jon B. Deal All Rights Reserved. I'm not kidding around here, I know people who know other people who would be willing to beat you up or similarly infringe on your rights, should you happen to infringe on my rights.