Thursday, March 06, 2008
Random Out-of-Context/No-Context Quotes, Winter Edition
All real quotes. Only slightly edited to obscure identities.
- He’s a great guy once you get past the “is he going to rape me?” part.
- That’s why you have hair there.
- The dog is for warmth, the cat is for eating.
- Yes, I’m totally on your side, but I have to disagree with everything you just said.
- I can’t make it to that meeting then. But ping me back later next week. [Included only because I loathe the use of the term “ping” in this context. It grates. Plus, the guy was a total douche-fest with perfect hair, shiny shoes and a square chin. That also grates, but not as much as saying “ping me later on that.”]
- It’s like paying to see an Adam Sandler movie, in that we are all dumber now for having had that conference call.
- I’d like Hillary more if she stopped channeling Cruella de Vil when she laughs.
- Smell my finger, please.
- Jeepers Cripes, this place is so cold my nipples are showing through this sweater.
- I got poked on Facebook. Where is the button to turn that off?
- Give it [an image in Photoshop] that old-world charm look.
Favorite Entries
If you are new around here, the following entries have been reasonably well received. You might want to peruse these.
- From the Office of Mis-directed Email
- Jon’s Report Card circa… A Long Time Ago
- Dear Gratuitously Naked Conversationalist at the Gym:
- A Peek Inside the Writer’s Guild and Producers’ Negotiations
- We Regret the Error
- What I Did There
- Hermaphrodite Administrative Assistants and Receptionists Need Not Apply
- Giving Me an IM Account Was Obviously a Huge Mistake
- Official Ransom Note Typography Vista vs. Mac OS X Shootout
- I Need a Real Hobby
- Beat Down
- Big Fat Lies
- True Love
- Now MY Ovaries Hurt
- Don’t Get Her Started
- Disturbing Trend
- Had to do it
- Mooshy stuff
- Ransom Note Typography End User License Agreement “EULA”
- Diva-licious!
- Just so we’re clear
- PETA may have a point
Holy Crap! Look at all this STUFF down here. It's awesome!
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Really, I'm glad you made it down here. Almost no one ever comes down here. I'm like in a freaking dungeon down here. I get lonely. But not you. YOU made it all the way to the end of the page. For this I think I've a little crush on you. I don't know, is "love" to strong a word to use in this situation? Well, if it's not "love," then it's very strong "like." I'm totally in like with you for coming down here. You are awesome. Please love me back! I know, I know, I shouldn't be all needy, it's not attractive at all, but you don't know how it is to be stuck down here. Who scrolls all the way to the end of a page anymore these days? Anyway, thanks for shedding some light down here in the depths. I appreciate it. Shoot me an email and I'll send you a dollar, OK?
©2005-2008 Jon B. Deal All Rights Reserved. I'm not kidding around here, I know people who know other people who would be willing to beat you up or similarly infringe on your rights, should you happen to infringe on my rights.