Thursday, June 05, 2008

Pinky Tuscadero

I renewed my Utah driver’s license a little while ago and when it finally came I noticed a couple things about it.

A) it has more “security features” than you can shake a stick at.

B) IT IS VERY PINK (The old ones used to be blue.)

I was talking about this with a very gay friend of mine about how I really liked the notion of some red-state mouth breathing yokel down in rural southern Utah having to flash his swishy PINK driver’s license to the clerk at the Maverick when he’s buying his Keystone Light on a Saturday night.

Amusing, no?

Now personally, I am a flaming hetero, but working in the graphics industry as I do, I’ve come to know and respect A LOT of gay men. (I’ve also come to be annoyed by a few as well, since by all accounts, they are people and people tend to annoy me on occasion).

Anyway, my gay friend is always telling me that I would make a great gay man.

And it’s true, I’d probably make a fabulous gay man. In the realm of stereotypically “gay things,” I appreciate design and beauty and even fashion a little bit. (Let’s just say this: I’m more likely to watch E! than I am ESPN. Though I’m even more likely to be watching the Sci-Fi channel which puts me in a whole different sub-class, I guess). This is how you get to the definition of metrosexual, by the way. I am a hetero guy, who doesn’t mind and enjoys certain “gay things.”

Except for the part about penises.

Just can’t get over the fact that I’m NOT into those.

Favorite Entries

If you are new around here, the following entries have been reasonably well received. You might want to peruse these.

• Partners
• Correspondence
• Help Wanted
• From the Office of Mis-directed Email
• A Word from the Small Person in the House
• RNT Product Review: Chocolate Mix Skittles Left Me Sterile!
• Jon’s Report Card circa… A Long Time Ago
• Dear Gratuitously Naked Conversationalist at the Gym:
• A Peek Inside the Writer’s Guild and Producers’ Negotiations
• We Regret the Error
• Letters from a Homeowner to His General Contractor
• What I Did There
• Hermaphrodite Administrative Assistants and Receptionists Need Not Apply
• Giving Me an IM Account Was Obviously a Huge Mistake
• Official Ransom Note Typography Vista vs. Mac OS X Shootout
• I Need a Real Hobby
• Beat Down
• Big Fat Lies
• True Love
• Now MY Ovaries Hurt
• Don’t Get Her Started
• Disturbing Trend
• Had to do it
• Mooshy stuff
• Ransom Note Typography End User License Agreement “EULA”
• Diva-licious!
• Just so we’re clear
• PETA may have a point

Holy Crap! Look at all this STUFF down here. It's awesome!

Really, I'm glad you made it down here. Almost no one ever comes down here. I'm like in a freaking dungeon down here. I get lonely. But not you. YOU made it all the way to the end of the page. For this I think I've a little crush on you. I don't know, is "love" to strong a word to use in this situation? Well, if it's not "love," then it's very strong "like." I'm totally in like with you for coming down here. You are awesome. Please love me back! I know, I know, I shouldn't be all needy, it's not attractive at all, but you don't know how it is to be stuck down here. Who scrolls all the way to the end of a page anymore these days? Anyway, thanks for shedding some light down here in the depths. I appreciate it. Shoot me an email and I'll send you a dollar, OK?

©2005-2009 Jon B. Deal All Rights Reserved. I'm not kidding around here, I know people who know other people who would be willing to beat you up or similarly infringe on your rights, should you happen to infringe on my rights.