Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Out of Context Quotes, Early Spring Edition

Back by semi-popular demand. I give you quotes, random and utterly lacking in context, just the way I like ‘em.

1. Falling in love with methane all over again.


2. Oh, Safari… Why you gotta make me hit?


3. I’m writing on my blog why I hate you. Hold please.


4. Your expense report has been approved. [Suckas!!]


5. Well, duh. You can’t treat underwear like that and expect it to treat you well.


6. She is not pretty enough to be that full of crazy. [Someone stealing from Mike Monteiro, methinks, but I heard it at the Deli.]


7. Guess why I have my hand in my leotard? For FUN! Hee hee!


8. If I get one more email telling me do do something and it has those idiotic bouncing emoticon smilies at the end, I will strangle her with a USB cable.


9. I could die happy right now, but then I’d miss out on gloating.


10. If you drink that much Diet Coke, I think you’ve moved beyond having a refreshing beverage with lunch and into “lifestyle choice” territory.


11. H: Your headphones are too good, you didn’t here the phone ringing. M: Yes, that was the point of buying them.

Favorite Entries

If you are new around here, the following entries have been reasonably well received. You might want to peruse these.

• Partners
• Correspondence
• Help Wanted
• From the Office of Mis-directed Email
• A Word from the Small Person in the House
• RNT Product Review: Chocolate Mix Skittles Left Me Sterile!
• Jon’s Report Card circa… A Long Time Ago
• Dear Gratuitously Naked Conversationalist at the Gym:
• A Peek Inside the Writer’s Guild and Producers’ Negotiations
• We Regret the Error
• Letters from a Homeowner to His General Contractor
• What I Did There
• Hermaphrodite Administrative Assistants and Receptionists Need Not Apply
• Giving Me an IM Account Was Obviously a Huge Mistake
• Official Ransom Note Typography Vista vs. Mac OS X Shootout
• I Need a Real Hobby
• Beat Down
• Big Fat Lies
• True Love
• Now MY Ovaries Hurt
• Don’t Get Her Started
• Disturbing Trend
• Had to do it
• Mooshy stuff
• Ransom Note Typography End User License Agreement “EULA”
• Diva-licious!
• Just so we’re clear
• PETA may have a point

Holy Crap! Look at all this STUFF down here. It's awesome!

Really, I'm glad you made it down here. Almost no one ever comes down here. I'm like in a freaking dungeon down here. I get lonely. But not you. YOU made it all the way to the end of the page. For this I think I've a little crush on you. I don't know, is "love" to strong a word to use in this situation? Well, if it's not "love," then it's very strong "like." I'm totally in like with you for coming down here. You are awesome. Please love me back! I know, I know, I shouldn't be all needy, it's not attractive at all, but you don't know how it is to be stuck down here. Who scrolls all the way to the end of a page anymore these days? Anyway, thanks for shedding some light down here in the depths. I appreciate it. Shoot me an email and I'll send you a dollar, OK?

©2005-2009 Jon B. Deal All Rights Reserved. I'm not kidding around here, I know people who know other people who would be willing to beat you up or similarly infringe on your rights, should you happen to infringe on my rights.