Wednesday, May 31, 2006

NO, I Did NOT Lose a Bet

Yes, I’ll finally admit it. I’ve been in denial for a while. Cutting to the chase: I’m going bald. And though it’s been happening for a while now, I’ve finally gotten around to actually caring that it was really happening.

My problem was that from the front I looked pretty normal:

Nothing too terrible. If you squinted, were really near-sighted and it was dark, you couldn’t even really tell I was losing my hair. The real problem was further “north” and the crown of noggin was barren. Right where I’d put a skull cap, if I happened to be Jewish. I should add that Reha proposed wearing a yarmulke full-time, but I declined.

Which brings me to the “tuft.” I HATE having just a tuft of hair just above my forehead. It looks totally stupid. A comb-over (or some sort of prosthetic (yes, a toupee) is out of the question, so I’ve been threatening to go “Jean-Luc Picard” and shave it all down to stubble.

We went to the grocery store and I made a detour into the hair care aisle and picked up some electric clippers. When we got home I begged and cajoled Reha into shearing me. She’s always been hesitant to do anything with my hair but I assured her that if the results were less than optimal I wouldn’t hold her responsible. Because 1) it will just grow back (well, some of it will grow back. Portions of it are obviously permanently out to lunch, but whatever) 2) Anything is better than than the “tuft” 3) a hat is always in order and cures many hair related ills.

See, pretty normal. Not that great, but I don’t care all that much, really.

Here we have Reha getting busy on the back. She’s a wonder with clippers, baby!

OK, now obviously, this is just great. This is how I see the tuft, frankly. Makes me look like a big, fat troll doll.

The final result. I know, I know. Not quite as sexy as Jean-Luc, but please, let’s remember that the source material Reha had to work with wasn’t all that great.

This was the most surprising thing to me. My hair isn’t quite as blond as I thought it was. I always imagined that I have aryan-nordic-teutonic locks, but it’s not really. It’s more dirty-dishwater colored. How disappointing.

And I’ve learned a couple of things. 1) If you beg your spouse long enough, she’ll give in 2) My head isn’t that bad looking. No surprising Gorbechov-esque continent shaped birth marks under there 3) My head gets dry while I’m still showering 4) Lucas thinks I look like a convict, so that’s pretty cool.

And of course, it just wouldn’t be a complete evening at the Deal Family Compound without Ellis putting something on her head and posing for a picture.

Jon scribbled this mess on 05/31/06 at 08:09 AM, best we can tell it fits in the category of Photos Regular Post. This many folks had something to say about that, The permanent home of this entry is here: Link

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