Wednesday, July 25, 2007

No Admittance Without Prior Written Authorization

The Department of Homeland Security should contact my youngest son on how to secure America’s borders and preserve the freedoms we so richly deserve and enjoy.

Because he has quite the talent for building fortresses. Granted they are only made out of blankets, couch cushions and the occasional bit of Lego™ for scaffolding and flying buttresses, but I think once he got the hang of using steel and concrete he could come up with some decent. I’m sure they will be calling him to consult Real Soon Now™.

Observe:

Ellis didn’t really have anything to do with construction, in fact she got yelled at more often than not for, “knocking down my support beams!” but she insisted on being in as many photos as possible.

“Hurry up and take the picture, Dad, I think my face has frozen like this.”

What you can’t see in the photos is the heliport area just behind him. The boy is always thinking, knowing that someday he’ll be running his own vast international crime ring and will need the ability to get place in a hurry.

The design features two levels and has three “rooms.” Here Jonah is demonstrating his innovative “door” creation. “It’s not a flap, Dad. You have to knock on the side.” (knocker not shown, because it kept falling off and I wouldn’t let him near the couch with industrial glue, like his plans called for.)

Favorite Entries

If you are new around here, the following entries have been reasonably well received. You might want to peruse these.

• Help Wanted
• From the Office of Mis-directed Email
• A Word from the Small Person in the House
• RNT Product Review: Chocolate Mix Skittles Left Me Sterile!
• Jon’s Report Card circa… A Long Time Ago
• Dear Gratuitously Naked Conversationalist at the Gym:
• A Peek Inside the Writer’s Guild and Producers’ Negotiations
• We Regret the Error
• Letters from a Homeowner to His General Contractor
• What I Did There
• Hermaphrodite Administrative Assistants and Receptionists Need Not Apply
• Giving Me an IM Account Was Obviously a Huge Mistake
• Official Ransom Note Typography Vista vs. Mac OS X Shootout
• I Need a Real Hobby
• Beat Down
• Big Fat Lies
• True Love
• Now MY Ovaries Hurt
• Don’t Get Her Started
• Disturbing Trend
• Had to do it
• Mooshy stuff
• Ransom Note Typography End User License Agreement “EULA”
• Diva-licious!
• Just so we’re clear
• PETA may have a point

Holy Crap! Look at all this STUFF down here. It's awesome!

Really, I'm glad you made it down here. Almost no one ever comes down here. I'm like in a freaking dungeon down here. I get lonely. But not you. YOU made it all the way to the end of the page. For this I think I've a little crush on you. I don't know, is "love" to strong a word to use in this situation? Well, if it's not "love," then it's very strong "like." I'm totally in like with you for coming down here. You are awesome. Please love me back! I know, I know, I shouldn't be all needy, it's not attractive at all, but you don't know how it is to be stuck down here. Who scrolls all the way to the end of a page anymore these days? Anyway, thanks for shedding some light down here in the depths. I appreciate it. Shoot me an email and I'll send you a dollar, OK?

©2005-2008 Jon B. Deal All Rights Reserved. I'm not kidding around here, I know people who know other people who would be willing to beat you up or similarly infringe on your rights, should you happen to infringe on my rights.