Wednesday, July 30, 2008

My New Hobby

This is my newest hobby.

Whenever one of my apps crashes, OS X pops up with a little message window asking if I’d like to report the incident to Apple. Details and the like which could help the engineers fix problems in their apps. Being the helpful fellow that I am, I usually press “Okey-Dokey” and send the report to Apple.

These are the kind of Crash Reports I’ve started to send to the Mothership. In this case an Apple app called Server Admin that I use, oddly enough, to administer our server (who’da thunk?) had crashed:

Server Admin is a like a petulant toddler who refuses to sleep well.

It crashes hard *every* time my machine takes a nap. Upon awakening my computer, Server Admin will have kicked up its little feet and keeled over and unceremoniously died and become completely unresponsive. Sometimes I can’t even start the app back up and have to resort to rebooting my machine.

Now I am all sad inside and want to start drinking heavily.

Again.

And I can’t put my family through that again.

Last time this happened, my family and friends staged an intervention and they all gathered around and explained that they loved me and were here for me, but that I had to change. And then they put me on a bus to Tuscon.

And I’ve tried, really, I’ve tried.

But seriously, every time Server Admin crashes, I feel myself slipping back into that dark place and I begin to reach for the demon gin bottle.

So fix this, will ya?

Thanks!

xoxoxo,
jon

Should help, no?

Favorite Entries

If you are new around here, the following entries have been reasonably well received. You might want to peruse these.

• Help Wanted
• From the Office of Mis-directed Email
• A Word from the Small Person in the House
• RNT Product Review: Chocolate Mix Skittles Left Me Sterile!
• Jon’s Report Card circa… A Long Time Ago
• Dear Gratuitously Naked Conversationalist at the Gym:
• A Peek Inside the Writer’s Guild and Producers’ Negotiations
• We Regret the Error
• Letters from a Homeowner to His General Contractor
• What I Did There
• Hermaphrodite Administrative Assistants and Receptionists Need Not Apply
• Giving Me an IM Account Was Obviously a Huge Mistake
• Official Ransom Note Typography Vista vs. Mac OS X Shootout
• I Need a Real Hobby
• Beat Down
• Big Fat Lies
• True Love
• Now MY Ovaries Hurt
• Don’t Get Her Started
• Disturbing Trend
• Had to do it
• Mooshy stuff
• Ransom Note Typography End User License Agreement “EULA”
• Diva-licious!
• Just so we’re clear
• PETA may have a point

Holy Crap! Look at all this STUFF down here. It's awesome!

Really, I'm glad you made it down here. Almost no one ever comes down here. I'm like in a freaking dungeon down here. I get lonely. But not you. YOU made it all the way to the end of the page. For this I think I've a little crush on you. I don't know, is "love" to strong a word to use in this situation? Well, if it's not "love," then it's very strong "like." I'm totally in like with you for coming down here. You are awesome. Please love me back! I know, I know, I shouldn't be all needy, it's not attractive at all, but you don't know how it is to be stuck down here. Who scrolls all the way to the end of a page anymore these days? Anyway, thanks for shedding some light down here in the depths. I appreciate it. Shoot me an email and I'll send you a dollar, OK?

©2005-2008 Jon B. Deal All Rights Reserved. I'm not kidding around here, I know people who know other people who would be willing to beat you up or similarly infringe on your rights, should you happen to infringe on my rights.