Monday, December 19, 2005

Most Humbling Moment

After working incredibly hard to pee in a urinal so the hospital folk could continue to measure every single thing that went in or out of me, (yes, I was successful, though I’m a bit ashamed at how LONG I stood there, Little Jon-Jon in hand with NOTHING HAPPENING), I lay back down on the bed. Yes, there was grunting, groaning and a “Sweet Baby James on a popsicle stick, that hurt!” as I slowly lowered myself to a prone position. I tucked my stupid ridiculously bootied feet under the covers and then realized, “I can’t pull the covers up over my bare butt.” I was on my left side for once.

There was no way I was going to be able to sit up and yank the covers up. I tried kicking, but that only made my incisions hurt. I was going to freeze.

So I called the nurses station. They always answered pretty speedily, which was comforting. “Yes, may we help you.”

“Um, yeah. I just got back into bed. I peed by the way, I know you were all rooting for me on that one. Let’s all give a small cheer for that. Anyway, um yeah, I’m in bed, see, and uuuh, I have a small problem.”

“How can we help you?”

“Well, it’s not really that big a deal, so send someone when you can, but um, I just got back into bed, and I’m having a small teeny, little hang up down here.”

“How can we help you?” They are all business, down at the nurses’ station, I should point out.

“Well, I can’t seem to pull my covers up and my tasty bits are all flapping in the wind. So, whenever someone has a spot of free time could they just jog down here and pull up my covers, please.”

“Sure.”

And the aid popped in two minutes later, pulled up my covers without saying anything and collected my pee. I said “Thank you very much, it gets a bit drafty in here.”

Not sure which is worse, the feeling of not being about to pull up one’s covers or being the person who had to pull up a my covers and risk seeing my giblets in the process. Probably me, not being able to pull up the covers. At least the aid was getting paid. Though probably not enough to have to look at my “stuff.”

Jon scribbled this mess on 12/19/05 at 03:31 PM, best we can tell it fits in the category of Regular Post. This many folks had something to say about that, The permanent home of this entry is here: Link

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