Wednesday, March 28, 2007

More Theivery Updates

I’m going to stop talking about this soon, I promise, but it’s the only thing in my orbit right now. Adobe talked about the release of CS3 and I kind of forgot about it until today. THAT’S HOW BAD IT IS.

The bank lady just called me and said someone bought a meal at Carl’s Jr. forging my name one of our checks. Yeah, I’m kind of eating only lettuce and brown rice right now and running a lot of late, I haven’t been to a Carl’s Jr. in YEARS. “Yes, please set me up ANOTHER affidavit of fraud and I’ll be over to sign it at lunch, thanks.”

Now I’m all grumpy again.

OH! and get this!

I talked to a nice lady at a Wal-Mart where they spent almost $800 and she told me some of the things they purchased. I totally expected it to be TVs, DVD players, XBox’s, and all the Sudafed (for making meth) that they could get their hands on, etc. Stuff they could easily sell for drug money, basically.

But they bought baby clothes! Socks! Men’s ties! And a ton of groceries. And Fleetwood Mac’s seminal Rumors on CD. And a Simon and Garfunkel CD.

It’s like Jean Valjean from Les Miserables or something over here. Baby clothes and groceries!

Now my liberal guilt is kicking in and I’m thinking… “Jeez, people, if you’d just knocked on our door, we’d have TAKEN you to Wal-Mart and bought you food. We actually are the sorts of people who do that on occasion.” Not $800 worth probably, but certainly a couple hundred. And how can I be mad at someone who likes Fleetwood Mac’s Rumors? I love that album!

Oh… well, I guess it’s actually kind of easy to be mad at them. THEY TOOK MY MONEY!

grumpy.

Favorite Entries

If you are new around here, the following entries have been reasonably well received. You might want to peruse these.

• From the Office of Mis-directed Email
• Jon’s Report Card circa… A Long Time Ago
• Dear Gratuitously Naked Conversationalist at the Gym:
• A Peek Inside the Writer’s Guild and Producers’ Negotiations
• We Regret the Error
• What I Did There
• Hermaphrodite Administrative Assistants and Receptionists Need Not Apply
• Giving Me an IM Account Was Obviously a Huge Mistake
• Official Ransom Note Typography Vista vs. Mac OS X Shootout
• I Need a Real Hobby
• Beat Down
• Big Fat Lies
• True Love
• Now MY Ovaries Hurt
• Don’t Get Her Started
• Disturbing Trend
• Had to do it
• Mooshy stuff
• Ransom Note Typography End User License Agreement “EULA”
• Diva-licious!
• Just so we’re clear
• PETA may have a point

Holy Crap! Look at all this STUFF down here. It's awesome!

Really, I'm glad you made it down here. Almost no one ever comes down here. I'm like in a freaking dungeon down here. I get lonely. But not you. YOU made it all the way to the end of the page. For this I think I've a little crush on you. I don't know, is "love" to strong a word to use in this situation? Well, if it's not "love," then it's very strong "like." I'm totally in like with you for coming down here. You are awesome. Please love me back! I know, I know, I shouldn't be all needy, it's not attractive at all, but you don't know how it is to be stuck down here. Who scrolls all the way to the end of a page anymore these days? Anyway, thanks for shedding some light down here in the depths. I appreciate it. Shoot me an email and I'll send you a dollar, OK?

©2005-2008 Jon B. Deal All Rights Reserved. I'm not kidding around here, I know people who know other people who would be willing to beat you up or similarly infringe on your rights, should you happen to infringe on my rights.