Monday, January 23, 2006

Big Ol’ List o’ Crap!

A lot of bloggers have a “101 things about me!” wherein they go on about how they wear argyle socks to bed or eat pumpernickel ice cream and so on and so on. I think it’s supposed to give insights into their personality. And I think it does achieve that to one degree or another, assuming that people are telling the truth.

Anyway, I was going to do one of those, but on the one hand, it’s kind of too predictable. And Karla already took “100 things wrong with me” which she strung out over a few postings. I’d do that, but I’m afraid the list is too long and I’m not even sure I’m aware of all the things that are wrong with me.

This weekend we went on a bit of cleaning frenzy so herewith I’d like to present “101 things I found under our bed” in essentially the order in which I pulled them out (except the magazines, I grouped those together).

001. Short Phillips head screwdriver (the short stubby kind)

002. The Wounded Land by Stephen R. Donaldson

003. Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman

004. One Black dress shoe (Ellis)

005. Two non-matching black dress shoes (Reha)

006. One black boot (Reha)

007. One almost empty tube of Aquaphor Healing Ointment

008. Finding Nemo DVD insert

009. Cranium game

010. One sandal that has been missing since last summer (Jonah)

011. One black sock (Jonah)

012. MacAddict magazine issues: Feb/06, Jan/06, Aug/05, Dec/04, Nov/03, Apr/05

013. Bottle of generic pink baby lotion (two total)

014. Guest book from Marji’s funeral (Mother in Law)

015. Utah State Bar—Annual Bar Convention Proceedings, July 13-16, 2005

016. Too many crayons to count. Mostly broken.

017. One black sock (Reha)

018. Runner’s World magazine issue: Nov/05, Sep/05, Jun/05, Feb/05, May/05

019. Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett

020. Year 2000 Sundance Film Festival baseball cap

021. Never Coming to a Theater Near You by Kevin Turan

022. Macworld magazine issues: Mar/04, Apr/05

023. The Office—The Complete First Series (the BBC one, not the NBC one)

024. One wire hanger

025. Food and Wine magazine Oct/05

026. Ben Folds Live: The Complete Sessions at West 54th (Man, they could ROCK!)

027. Friends Season 1 and 4 and the case for Season 5

028. Eleven pencils, not one of them with a sharp point, three broken into pieces

029. One unused size 2 diaper (were any of them ever that small?)

030. Paradise by Toni Morrison

031. Two Rigid product registration/warranty cards (not filled out)

032. The Woman Said Yes: Encounters with Life and Death, Memoirs by Jessamyn West

033. Rush—the DVD Collection (Dork/geek alert!)

034. Trojan Explosives baseball cap

035. Three plastic hangers

036. 2003 Edition of Federal Civil Judicial Procedure and Rules

037. Unknown A/V cable

038. One floppy disk cable

039. Red Hat Fedroa Core 3 (Disks 1, 2 of 4)

040. Linksys 10/100 Base-T ethernet card

041. One Western Digital 30 GB hard drive

042. One Western Digital 10 GB hard drive

043. One SATA cable

044. I, Robot by Issac Asimov

045. The Chronoliths by Robert Charles Wilson

046. The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco

047. The Teeny Tiny Ghost by Kay Winters

048. One half of a Pokemon pokeball (sp?)

049. Hauppauge remote control for PVR-350

050. The Art of Modern Rock by Paul Grushkin and Dennis King

051. One iMac (G3, rev D (the one with FireWire) power cable, plugged into:

052. One surge protector

053. One Lego catalog, Summer 2004

054. Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail, ‘72 by Hunter S. Thompson

055. Plow Matchbox board book

056. Cat 5 ethernet cable (about 6 feet long)

057. The other half of the pokeball from above

058. Knob from the bathroom sink cabinet

059. Two Harry Potter dust jackets, Books Four and Five (no idea where the books are)

060. Printout of a webpage on setting up DNS and BIND on OS X Server 10.3

061. Printout of a webpage on setting up a VPN and L2TP on OS X server 10.3

062. Notes form work on above that I scribbled down while setting that stuff up two years ago

063. Hybrids by Robert J. Sawyer

064. Guess How Much I Love You by Sam McBratney

065.You’ve stopped reading this, haven’t you?

066. Harper’s magazine issues: Sep/05, May/00, Aug/04, May/04, Jun/04, Apr/04

067. Wired magazine issues: Dec/04, Feb/05, Oct/05, Aug/04, Jun/05, Dec/05, Apr/04

068. Canon G6 camera limited warranty card

069. Strabismus surgery post-op instructions

070. Three marbles

071. Aveda Foot Relief lotion

072. 30 Days to a Healthier Family by Peggy Hughes

073. Karate sparring glove

074. Two empty eyeglass cases

075. One earring

076. United Health Care Information Packet

077. Duplo elephant

078. Forty-two thousand legos (not really, but I didn’t want to count them all)

079. Cole-Haan shoe box lid

080. Jonah’s baby book

081. The wool cap I’m currently wearing

082. Quicksilver by Neal Stephenson

083. Directory from Reha’s freshman year in college

084. One styrofoam cup

085. One picture of Jonah at his day care’s Thanksgiving extravaganza from 2002

086. One rubber ball with these little spiny nubs all over it.

087. One travel box of baby wipes (empty)

088. Tongs that have been missing from the kitchen for over a year

089. Four dryer sheets

090. One hippo and one alligator from Ellis’ Noah’s ark toy

091. One flip flop (Carrie)

092. One frisbee

093. One plastic sippy cup (no lid)

094. Sierra (the magazine of the Sierra Club) issue Sep-Oct/05

095. Snowman stuffed animal

096. Runner’s World Training Log

097. The Atlantic issue Feb/05

098. One package of Thank You cards

099. A copy of the Bible that the Biker guys gave to Reha after Marji’s funeral in TX

100. The Silence of the Lambs by Thomas Harris

101. More dust than I’d have thought possible

Apparently we need some bookshelves at our house, because there was a whole library under there. Last time I did this I found food in various states of decay, so at least we’ve cured people of eating in our bed.

It’s like a strange archeological dig, where you try to decipher what was happening from the crap that you’ve found. I tried not to editorialize too much, but I would like to add that I have NO idea what the tongs were doing under there (they are not some kind of weird “marital aid” I assure you) and that I loathe the Stephen R. Donaldson books with a white hot “white gold” passion.

Jon scribbled this mess on 01/23/06 at 06:52 AM, best we can tell it fits in the category of Regular Post. This many folks had something to say about that, The permanent home of this entry is here: Link

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