Friday, December 21, 2007
Letter From Mine Offspring, Traveling Hither and Yon
Carrie wrote me an email last night. She’s in Mississippi with the rest of the clan. They went early and I have stayed home alone for a couple days.
My Esteemed Father,
An it please you, would it perchance be possible to take yon ethernet cable and put it into thy travel bag forthwith? This is a godforsaken land wherein the sanctity of WiFi is absent. Fie on thee if thou wouldst deny thy daughter the simple pleasure of a blue cable!
Most earnest thanks,
Your loving daughter,
Anhilda.Post Script: We are continually in hopes that thou hast not sullied thyself by entering the bawdy houses of women of ill repute.
Will I be taking our little WiFi setup with me in my suitcase?
Um, yeah.
And not just because I wouldn’t have connectivity when I get there on Sunday, of course. I’m not a selfish man, I’m doing it for the kids!
Favorite Entries
If you are new around here, the following entries have been reasonably well received. You might want to peruse these.
- From the Office of Mis-directed Email
- Jon’s Report Card circa… A Long Time Ago
- Dear Gratuitously Naked Conversationalist at the Gym:
- A Peek Inside the Writer’s Guild and Producers’ Negotiations
- We Regret the Error
- What I Did There
- Hermaphrodite Administrative Assistants and Receptionists Need Not Apply
- Giving Me an IM Account Was Obviously a Huge Mistake
- Official Ransom Note Typography Vista vs. Mac OS X Shootout
- I Need a Real Hobby
- Beat Down
- Big Fat Lies
- True Love
- Now MY Ovaries Hurt
- Don’t Get Her Started
- Disturbing Trend
- Had to do it
- Mooshy stuff
- Ransom Note Typography End User License Agreement “EULA”
- Diva-licious!
- Just so we’re clear
- PETA may have a point
Holy Crap! Look at all this STUFF down here. It's awesome!
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Really, I'm glad you made it down here. Almost no one ever comes down here. I'm like in a freaking dungeon down here. I get lonely. But not you. YOU made it all the way to the end of the page. For this I think I've a little crush on you. I don't know, is "love" to strong a word to use in this situation? Well, if it's not "love," then it's very strong "like." I'm totally in like with you for coming down here. You are awesome. Please love me back! I know, I know, I shouldn't be all needy, it's not attractive at all, but you don't know how it is to be stuck down here. Who scrolls all the way to the end of a page anymore these days? Anyway, thanks for shedding some light down here in the depths. I appreciate it. Shoot me an email and I'll send you a dollar, OK?
©2005-2008 Jon B. Deal All Rights Reserved. I'm not kidding around here, I know people who know other people who would be willing to beat you up or similarly infringe on your rights, should you happen to infringe on my rights.