Thursday, August 31, 2006

I Have Made a Strategic Error

I’ve been working here at my current job for over five years and I’ve managed to keep myself out of trouble. I’m reasonably on time. I work hard. I do my thing and don’t complain. You know, model employee and all that.

I’m working *right now* as a matter of fact. Well, OK, technically, I’m doing this little writing thing right this very second, but I was working earlier and I’m waiting to the printer to do its thing. So working, yeah.

But my deep dark secret has come out. I kept it for over five whole years and now it’s all in the toilet.

I know PowerPoint.

And now they know that I know PowerPoint and now I’m gonna hafta do all the PowerPoint crap that comes through the studio for the rest of my natural life.

I think the only reasonable thing for me to do is update my resumé, start putting out feelers and get hell out of Dodge. Obviously, this situation is untenable.

And before anyone gets any ideas, we can’t use Keynote, which though it’s not perfect, is a zillion times better than PowerPoint; the client is Windows-only and they are actually doing The Presentation™. We are the graphics weenies putting it all together and trying our best to make a whole mess o’ slides look decent.

Now, where’s that loaded firearm I keep handy for occasions like this?

Favorite Entries

If you are new around here, the following entries have been reasonably well received. You might want to peruse these.

• Partners
• Correspondence
• Help Wanted
• From the Office of Mis-directed Email
• A Word from the Small Person in the House
• RNT Product Review: Chocolate Mix Skittles Left Me Sterile!
• Jon’s Report Card circa… A Long Time Ago
• Dear Gratuitously Naked Conversationalist at the Gym:
• A Peek Inside the Writer’s Guild and Producers’ Negotiations
• We Regret the Error
• Letters from a Homeowner to His General Contractor
• What I Did There
• Hermaphrodite Administrative Assistants and Receptionists Need Not Apply
• Giving Me an IM Account Was Obviously a Huge Mistake
• Official Ransom Note Typography Vista vs. Mac OS X Shootout
• I Need a Real Hobby
• Beat Down
• Big Fat Lies
• True Love
• Now MY Ovaries Hurt
• Don’t Get Her Started
• Disturbing Trend
• Had to do it
• Mooshy stuff
• Ransom Note Typography End User License Agreement “EULA”
• Diva-licious!
• Just so we’re clear
• PETA may have a point

Holy Crap! Look at all this STUFF down here. It's awesome!

Really, I'm glad you made it down here. Almost no one ever comes down here. I'm like in a freaking dungeon down here. I get lonely. But not you. YOU made it all the way to the end of the page. For this I think I've a little crush on you. I don't know, is "love" to strong a word to use in this situation? Well, if it's not "love," then it's very strong "like." I'm totally in like with you for coming down here. You are awesome. Please love me back! I know, I know, I shouldn't be all needy, it's not attractive at all, but you don't know how it is to be stuck down here. Who scrolls all the way to the end of a page anymore these days? Anyway, thanks for shedding some light down here in the depths. I appreciate it. Shoot me an email and I'll send you a dollar, OK?

©2005-2010 Jon B. Deal All Rights Reserved. I'm not kidding around here, I know people who know other people who would be willing to beat you up or similarly infringe on your rights, should you happen to infringe on my rights.