Tuesday, May 08, 2007

How Much Niacin Is Too Much Niacin?

The Coca-Cola company has rather quietly introduced a new product into the marketplace.

I don’t know really, maybe they have a big splashy marketing campaign behind the whole thing. I don’t watch enough TV and radio is dead to me, so unless it’s on NPR it’ll probably pass me by. And so far no one has figured out a way to sneak ads onto my iPod, either. So I could have missed all the hoopla and this stuff has been out for a year. But it’s NEW TO ME! AND I’M A LITTLE EXCITED ABOUT IT.

But my point, and I swear, I do have one, is that finally someone has come up with a product that I can heartily endorse.

Diet Coke Plus™

It’s Diet Coke™! But with vitamins and minerals added!

I’ll pause while you gather yourself.

OMG! OMG! I can’t remain composed. It’s so very eleventy-forty kinds of awesome!

ONE MY ADDICTIONS IS FINALLY GOOD FOR ME! Praise zoraster!

And it tastes pretty much exactly the way Diet Coke tastes. Just with MORE chemicals added for robustness. How awesome is that?

I think I have to sit down for a second.

Let’s read the label and get right to the “good stuff” about the RDA numbers, shall we?

Niacin . . . . . . .  25%
Vitamin B6 . . . . 25%
Vitamin B12 . . . 25%
Magnesium . . . .15%
Zinc . . . . . . . . . 15%

So four cans of Diet Coke Plus nets you ALL your Niacin for the day. Woohooo! I’m SO rocking the B6 right now! I’m high on B6! I can see stars and it’s like I can feel and touch the light, man. Whoa.

One thing I’d like to note which was pretty smart of the GENIUSES at Coca-Cola HQ. (The Wizards of Georgia is what I call them). They kept out vitamins and minerals which could theoretically kill you in über-high doses. Like iron and vitamin A. Because I’m pretty sure most of us Diet Coke addicts would O.D. in one day. Imagine the liability!

And look, it’s so very lovely! Doesn’t the can even SPEAK to you with its multi-colored hues and say, “I’m healthy and fun! And fizzy! And caffeinated! Drink me, I’m yummy!”

No? Well, it says that to me.

But don’t listen to me, I’m so high right now.

Jon scribbled this mess on 05/08/07 at 12:04 AM, best we can tell it fits in the category of Photos Regular Post. This many folks had something to say about that, The permanent home of this entry is here: Link

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