Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Eight Things About Me

This looney “tagged” me and now I feel compelled to engage this this whole “meme” thing. And can I just say for a moment, that I don’t even know how to pronounce “meme” and should therefore be excused from all such things? Seriously, the last “meme” type thing I really knew about was that “All your base are belong to us”goofiness and that was like a century ago in Internet time.

Oh, and the lolcatz. Heaven help me, I still think those are kind of funny.

Anyway, fine… here you go. Eight things about me. But don’t expect me to “tag” anyone else, OK? People will start to avoid me even more than they already do.

• 1. I loathe the taste and smell of vinegar and will sometimes refuse to enter a room that even has the slightest whiff of vinegar.



• 2. I’m tone deaf in a weird way. If something is out of tune, it grates on my soul. But I have NO idea whether the note is flat or sharp. In band, playing the clarinet or sax, and during the tuning phase of rehearsal, I would just guess at which direction to tune. Usually, I’d guess wrong and my band teacher would make a face like I was the dumbest person on the planet. I didn’t like band class very much.



• 3. I’m obsessive about keeping my computer’s Desktop clean, though I’m a total slob in real life. I’m looking at my physical desk/work area right now and it’s kind of hard to see anything given the piles and piles o’ crap. But my computer’s metaphorical Desktop is well ordered and there are NO stray documents or detritus on it.



• 4. I’ve had the same keychain/fob since I was in junior high, which means I’ve had it for over a quarter century. It’s astonishing that I haven’t ever lost it. I have things that belong to me that are older, certainly, but I don’t carry those things around with me every day, you know?



• 5. Until about three years ago, I had NEVER, EVER run out of gas. I was very proud of this fact for some reason (kind of like how I’m strangely proud that I still have a key ring from seventh grade, I guess). And then I ran out twice in the same week.

Jeez… EIGHT things? Really? Are we even close to being done yet? I’m dying over here… Fine. Three more.

• 6. My biggest regret is that I never finished college. It hasn’t really hurt my career, but it kind of bugs me.



• 7. I eat my salads essentially “dry” (but perhaps with a couple squeezes of lemon). Everyone thinks I’m weird, just sitting there with my pathetic naked lettuce, but I don’t mind my “dry” salads. See #1, do you know of a salad dressing that DOESN’T have vinegar in it?



• 8. Though there is significant evidence to the contrary (you are reading it) and I feel like I have a decent grasp of English grammar and sentence structure, I have trouble remembering the “lay/lie” rule and will invariably use the wrong word. Actually, it goes beyond mere “trouble,” I truly just don’t know and can’t seem to learn the rule. I know one of them takes an object, but I can NEVER remember which. In fact, I will often alter my speech and writing just so I don’t have to use one of those words. Seriously, I’m sitting here typing this out and and thinking, “Do I want to go lie down on the couch?” or “Do I want to lay down on the couch?” I know one of those sentences is correct, but I do not have clue one which.

But now I know that I really want to go take a nap, so there’s that…

Favorite Entries

If you are new around here, the following entries have been reasonably well received. You might want to peruse these.

• Help Wanted
• From the Office of Mis-directed Email
• A Word from the Small Person in the House
• RNT Product Review: Chocolate Mix Skittles Left Me Sterile!
• Jon’s Report Card circa… A Long Time Ago
• Dear Gratuitously Naked Conversationalist at the Gym:
• A Peek Inside the Writer’s Guild and Producers’ Negotiations
• We Regret the Error
• Letters from a Homeowner to His General Contractor
• What I Did There
• Hermaphrodite Administrative Assistants and Receptionists Need Not Apply
• Giving Me an IM Account Was Obviously a Huge Mistake
• Official Ransom Note Typography Vista vs. Mac OS X Shootout
• I Need a Real Hobby
• Beat Down
• Big Fat Lies
• True Love
• Now MY Ovaries Hurt
• Don’t Get Her Started
• Disturbing Trend
• Had to do it
• Mooshy stuff
• Ransom Note Typography End User License Agreement “EULA”
• Diva-licious!
• Just so we’re clear
• PETA may have a point

Holy Crap! Look at all this STUFF down here. It's awesome!

Really, I'm glad you made it down here. Almost no one ever comes down here. I'm like in a freaking dungeon down here. I get lonely. But not you. YOU made it all the way to the end of the page. For this I think I've a little crush on you. I don't know, is "love" to strong a word to use in this situation? Well, if it's not "love," then it's very strong "like." I'm totally in like with you for coming down here. You are awesome. Please love me back! I know, I know, I shouldn't be all needy, it's not attractive at all, but you don't know how it is to be stuck down here. Who scrolls all the way to the end of a page anymore these days? Anyway, thanks for shedding some light down here in the depths. I appreciate it. Shoot me an email and I'll send you a dollar, OK?

©2005-2008 Jon B. Deal All Rights Reserved. I'm not kidding around here, I know people who know other people who would be willing to beat you up or similarly infringe on your rights, should you happen to infringe on my rights.