Thursday, December 13, 2007

Dialogue

A few lines of dialog I wrote a long time ago, from a short story I never finished. Found on an ancient zip disk. Slightly edited.

“Yes, she definitely wears that shirt a lot. She wears it at least twice a week. You know how I know that she wears it that often? Because that is the shirt with the deep V-neck and, depending on any number of factors such as wind speed, the angle of the sun, barometric pressure and her being RIGHT in front of you, you can ABSOLUTELY see her almost her entire chest. It practically plunges down to her navel and allows easy discernment the brand names of her bras. Bali most days and La Perla if she’s going to a client meeting. Seriously, that shirt should be illegal, that’s how revealing it is. So, you know why I notice that sort of thing and why I can tell you that she wears it at least once a week and that she wore it yesterday? Because I’m a GUY and guys notice things like women’s breasts. We like them. We notice them. We even admire them, though generally we try not to be all creepy about it and stare at them. But if you think I’m not going to notice when they are practically invading my personal space bubble, then you are absolutely off your rocker. Plus, the shirt is a nice green color and it sets off her eyes nicely.”

Favorite Entries

If you are new around here, the following entries have been reasonably well received. You might want to peruse these.

• Correspondence
• Help Wanted
• From the Office of Mis-directed Email
• A Word from the Small Person in the House
• RNT Product Review: Chocolate Mix Skittles Left Me Sterile!
• Jon’s Report Card circa… A Long Time Ago
• Dear Gratuitously Naked Conversationalist at the Gym:
• A Peek Inside the Writer’s Guild and Producers’ Negotiations
• We Regret the Error
• Letters from a Homeowner to His General Contractor
• What I Did There
• Hermaphrodite Administrative Assistants and Receptionists Need Not Apply
• Giving Me an IM Account Was Obviously a Huge Mistake
• Official Ransom Note Typography Vista vs. Mac OS X Shootout
• I Need a Real Hobby
• Beat Down
• Big Fat Lies
• True Love
• Now MY Ovaries Hurt
• Don’t Get Her Started
• Disturbing Trend
• Had to do it
• Mooshy stuff
• Ransom Note Typography End User License Agreement “EULA”
• Diva-licious!
• Just so we’re clear
• PETA may have a point

Holy Crap! Look at all this STUFF down here. It's awesome!

Really, I'm glad you made it down here. Almost no one ever comes down here. I'm like in a freaking dungeon down here. I get lonely. But not you. YOU made it all the way to the end of the page. For this I think I've a little crush on you. I don't know, is "love" to strong a word to use in this situation? Well, if it's not "love," then it's very strong "like." I'm totally in like with you for coming down here. You are awesome. Please love me back! I know, I know, I shouldn't be all needy, it's not attractive at all, but you don't know how it is to be stuck down here. Who scrolls all the way to the end of a page anymore these days? Anyway, thanks for shedding some light down here in the depths. I appreciate it. Shoot me an email and I'll send you a dollar, OK?

©2005-2008 Jon B. Deal All Rights Reserved. I'm not kidding around here, I know people who know other people who would be willing to beat you up or similarly infringe on your rights, should you happen to infringe on my rights.