Monday, August 06, 2007

Zone of Discomfort

I joined a gym on Friday. I know, I know, quite momentous. It’s not really that big a deal, of course. Anyone can join a gym. All you really have to do is show up, fill out the forms and then be prepared to sign your life away to the gym, since the contract they make you sign is totally iron-clad and you’ll never be able to get out of it.

Seriously, Re is a lawyer and you would not believe the trouble we went through last time we tried to stop our month-to-month membership. Literally, it took 4 months to get them to stop taking money out of our checking account, and that was even AFTER our membership had expired. Such an incredible pain. We had to have a notarized letter, signed by both of us, delivered BY HAND to the woman who does the billing and she’s only in the office from 4:25-4:31 every other Tuesday. Really, honestly, I’m only partially being hyperbolic. Quitting the gym was so much harder than lifting weights at the gym ever was.

No, what’s striking about this gym is its “no-judgment” policy. You are not allowed to pass any judgments about the other members while in the gym. Something about making everyone feel welcome, I guess. This even applies while people are lifting weights as there is a strict “no-grunting” policy as well.

Which is great in theory I suppose, but one of the reasons I go to the gym is so I can be judged by my peers and so I can make fun of them as well. And while I certainly don’t want to hear anyone else grunting and straining while they are doing “reps,” my problem is that I have a hard time just getting up from a chair without issuing a whole lot of guttural noises. I’m going to get busted just sitting up from the bench press machine.

And after all, if someone can’t make fun of my bright powder blue Lycra and Spandex workout clothes, then what can they make fun of? 

1. So… people join for the social aspects, right?

   Can you pass judgment on yourself, or is that banned too? And - thought triggered by verification string e.g. ‘foreign58 - what if you were like, speaking a different language? Are you allowed to compliment other members, or does ‘judgment’ cover both positive and negative comments?

   Posted by Radioactive Jam  on  08/06/07  at  06:44 AM

2. Oh lordy… we had this same problem when we moved and had to cancel our gym membership.  You had to give them 7 working days notice, so they could stop billing you, and we still ended up paying an extra month.  When I called to complain, they said they wouldn’t refund, but HEY!  Isn’t is great that we got an extra month to use their facilities?”

   Yup, because if I was too lazy to drive the 1.2 miles while I lived there, I’m sure willing to drive the 42 miles it is NOW!

   Posted by Blonde Chick  on  08/06/07  at  09:44 AM

3. I ended up getting a exercise bike and doing all my exercise hidden in the darkest regions of our house.

   Unfortunately, there isn’t a no judgement policy at Club Workman.  The judgements are harsh, swift, and final.

   Posted by workman  on  08/06/07  at  10:51 AM

4. I joined gold’s gym once… it was on my way to and from work and seemed like such a good idea at the time.  I mean, they were open 24 hours a day (M-F)… and I love getting up at 2:30am out of a dead sleep so that I can work those abs and glutes.  who doesn’t!  but then I moved… 12 miles away.  I could cancel, without penalty, if I moved 15+ miles away.  [sigh] luckily my bank is dumb and still thinks I live at my parents house (250+ miles away… and haven’t received mail there since 2002).  SO, I took one of the credit cards they sent me and showed the buffoons at golds… and I was out of the contract.  I didn’t even get an extra payment taken out of my account.  sweet!  of course, because of my sly devious ways in this situation, the powers that be have decided to F with me and make my first house-buying experience a living hell.  I should have just stayed with the gym.

   Posted by kt  on  08/06/07  at  11:47 AM

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