Sunday, July 27, 2008

Yes, Certain People in My House Screamed

big ol' bug
That’s a letter sized (8.5” x 11") piece of paper behind it to show scale and contrast.

Soon after this photo was taken, it growled and then ate one of my kids.

Luckily, I have a lot of kids.

Seriously, this thing was huge and there may have been screaming and people jumping out of their skins when we first saw it.

OK, I kind of screamed.

A little.

Fine, I yelled a lot, but I still don’t think the neighbors should have called 911 and told them, "It sounds like he’s on fire, he won’t stop shrieking."

What is this thing? Looks like a beetle and it really did make a weird clicking/hissing noise when we gently poked at it. Are there any entomologists in the house that can tell me why this monstrosity is here in the foothills of Salt Lake City?

(Besides snack on one of my kids, that is.)

Posted by Jon on 07/27/08 at 09:59 PM
  1. Hey, hey, hey. Can you slow down a little?

    thanks

    Posted by SB  on  07/27/08  at  09:10 PM
  2. Eww! Okay, that’s just nasty.  I’ll stop complaining about the dust-sized bug on my monitor now.

    Posted by Rachelskirts  on  07/27/08  at  09:12 PM
  3. Whenever I see big bugs like that now, I think of wall-e and calm down immediately. Try it.  :)

    Posted by Lisamac  on  07/27/08  at  09:12 PM
  4. Thass a beeg ol critter.

    Posted by califmom  on  07/27/08  at  09:13 PM
  5. Where the hell have I been?  Your entire blog is hilarious.  And by “entire,” I mean the front page because I knew that if I didn’t stop to comment now, I never would.

    I have no idea how I found you.  Actually, I started following you on twitter.  Don’t know how that happened other than that I am sending a thank you out to the magical twitter sprites that send me suggestions of who to follow.  They were spot on this time.

    Now must go to your second page.  I hear there is a dungeon at the bottom of this page, though, so wish me luck…

    Posted by Velveteen Mind - Megan  on  07/27/08  at  09:13 PM
  6. That is a big old beetle.

    It might be a California Prionus.  No, I didn’t just pull that out of my head. I found it about half way down the first beetle page on what’s that bug. 

    http://www.whatsthatbug.com/beetles.html

    Posted by Michael  on  07/27/08  at  09:34 PM
  7. I think Michael nailed it. Looks like a California Prionus.

    It just flew away. Which is kind of sad. I was getting used to it and had named it Frank.

    Posted by jon  on  07/27/08  at  09:40 PM
  8. Or maybe a Prionus imbricornis
    http://bugguide.net/node/view/40069

    I think I’ve got at least the Family right.

    Posted by Michael  on  07/27/08  at  09:40 PM
  9. OK, that’s huge.

    Posted by Ara Pehlivanian  on  07/27/08  at  09:59 PM
  10. Looks like the imbricornis is Frank’s east coast cousin.  Let’s go with California Prionus.

    Posted by Michael  on  07/27/08  at  10:01 PM
  11. Beetle I could deal with. A few years ago, the first day in a new apartment after I had unpacked and all, what did I see on my curtains but a HUGE spider.

    I called my mom.

    Posted by Kathy  on  07/28/08  at  03:10 AM
  12. Gregor from Kafka’s Metamorphosis, maybe?

    Posted by rimarama  on  07/28/08  at  04:57 AM
  13. Okay, that thing is flipping huge! And don’t feed it any more children cause then it’ll just get lazy and want to eat at your house every night!

    Posted by Mary Beth (Cats/Books/Life is Good  on  07/28/08  at  09:33 AM
  14. I am never coming to Utah.

    Posted by Angella  on  07/28/08  at  11:40 AM
  15. Are we sure it’s a beetle?  Was it a growl or did it bark as well?  Damn, I’m glad I live in California were it’s safe?

    Posted by Mike  on  07/28/08  at  03:42 PM
  16. Ew ew ew… Heebs!

    Posted by seven  on  07/28/08  at  11:41 PM
  17. Certain people outside your house screamed.

    Posted by Jessica  on  07/29/08  at  10:51 AM
  18. GOOD FREAKING HELL!!!!!!!

    Posted by Loralee  on  07/29/08  at  04:10 PM
  19. hello, *i* screamed.

    I haven’t seen anything that nasty since I loved in Florida.

    [insert ex-boyfriend jokes here]

    Posted by Aimee Greeblemonkey  on  07/29/08  at  11:00 PM
  20. cripes, I am tired. that would be LIVED.

    or loved, depending on the boyfriend joke.

    Posted by Aimee Greeblemonkey  on  07/29/08  at  11:01 PM
  21. Frank happens to be a great name for that bug as I know a Frank who looks somewhat similar and people have been known to throw things at him (books, shoes, etc). 

    Love the blog btw.  I’m glad I found it.

    Posted by Lizzy  on  07/30/08  at  08:43 AM
  22. Well Jon,

    It looks like you now know what to post if you want to get lots of comments.

    Posted by Michael  on  07/30/08  at  02:52 PM
  23. Uh, maybe you can get court ordered visitation with Frank?...I bet he misses you.

    jw

    Posted by J.W.  on  07/30/08  at  04:55 PM
  24. Jeezuz, that’s huge.

    If I ever found a bug like that stuck to my screen my screams will likely bring the entire house down.

    Bugs. Are. Eeeevil.

    Posted by Anna Balasi  on  08/06/08  at  02:08 PM
  25. I feel like I might faint.

    Posted by SparklieSunShine  on  08/10/08  at  10:18 AM

 

Holy Crap! Look at all this STUFF down here. It's awesome!

 

Really, I'm glad you made it down here. Almost no one ever comes down here. I'm like in a freaking dungeon down here. I get lonely. But not you. YOU made it all the way to the end of the page. For this I think I've a little crush on you. I don't know, is "love" to strong a word to use in this situation? Well, if it's not "love," then it's very strong "like." I'm totally in like with you for coming down here. You are awesome. Please love me back! I know, I know, I shouldn't be all needy, it's not attractive at all, but you don't know how it is to be stuck down here. Who scrolls all the way to the end of a page anymore these days? Anyway, thanks for shedding some light down here in the depths. I appreciate it. Shoot me an email and I'll send you a dollar, OK?


©2005-2009 Jon B. Deal All Rights Reserved. All comments belong to the respective commenters.