Friday, November 16, 2007
Yeah, Sorry About That, My Bad
A whole bunch of years ago, at a different job, I did a dumb thing. Truth be told, it wasn’t so much dumb as it was stupid. You may also call me a moron, I’m cool with that as well.
Here’s the scene:
I’m in someone’s office/work area. Let’s call him Steve, since that’s his name. A few of us are there working late and it’s about 10 or so in the evening. For reasons too complicated and tedious to go into now, his workspace is quite large and has two phones, one on each end.
Phone rings.
I answer it. It’s Steve’s wife. I recognize her voice instantly as it’s quite distinctive. Instead of saying, “Hello Marie, let me get Steve for you. Hold the line please.” I launch into something else.
I would make an excellent receptionist, except for that part about not really liking to speak on the phone very much.
The something else is this:
Instead of being a normal human being I greet her with:
“Is this Tiffany? No, wait, you don’t sound like Tiffany at all. You are Sandy, aren’t you? Nancy? Jeez! Sorry! I can’t keep all you women Steve goes out with straight! Ha! Ha!”
This schtick goes on for a while. A veritable rolodex of names. I’m a hoot!
Finally, I transfer the phone over to Steve on the other side of the room, yelling out, “Steve, it’s your wife, not TIffany like I thought at first!”
No one has laughed or smiled at my delightsome bit of whimsy. Why, since it’s such a clever bit of mischievous fun?!
Completely unknown to me, just a day earlier my man Steve-O had copped to his wife of numerous affairs in the past. And he was cheating on her with someone else (again), though he’d lied to her during his “confession” and said he was “done with all that.”
I’ll be here all weekend, kids! Tip your waiters!
OMG! NO!… you did NOT~! That is hilarious - great story
Posted by NerdGirl on 11/16/07 at 07:29 AMOuch! Ouch! Ouch! I bet while everyone wasn’t laughing while Steve was standing there, they all had a jolly good chuckle at the bar later.
Posted by Colleen on 11/16/07 at 08:12 AMThat’s hilarious. I think Steve was begging for it, though.
Posted by schmutzie on 11/16/07 at 09:07 AMYes, we all laughed later, like months later. :-]
And schmutzie is absolutely correct. Steve set a poor example for my half of the species.
Posted by jon on 11/16/07 at 09:51 AMWonderful! More proof of the existence of instant karma. You were just the messenger.
Posted by Kate on 11/16/07 at 10:27 AMOh! That just made me CRINGE down to my toes! How terribly awkward!
Posted by joaaanna on 11/16/07 at 11:05 AMI had an experience like this when I was a ring announcer at some boxing matches on the BYU campus.
Between rounds various ring girls (modestly dressed, this is BYU after all) walk around the ring holding cards indicating what round was coming up.
One such ring girl was Mary Ann. So I say the usual blather you say between boxing rounds…
“This round’s ring girl is the lovely Mary Ann...”
Then I thought I’d get a bit clever and drop a “Gilligan’s Island” reference.
“That Professor is one lucky man.”
I didn’t get the laughs I thought I might get. Instead, I actually heard some gasps around me.
Turns out she was having a torrid affair with a professor at school and a LOT of people knew about it.
But not me, as it turns out.
Posted by workman on 11/16/07 at 11:12 AMworkman
There were boxing matches @ BYU?
That’s C-R-A-Z-Y talk, man!
Posted by jon on 11/16/07 at 11:16 AMThey did it once. I doubt they every did it again.
When I announced the first match, I put on my Monster Truck voice and said. “Welcome to the Wilkinson Center brawl-room!”
It was real classy-like
Posted by workman on 11/17/07 at 10:45 AMI’m with Schmutzie. Steve deserved it and it was hilarious.
Posted by Mauigirl on 11/22/07 at 08:15 PM
Holy Crap! Look at all this STUFF down here. It's awesome!
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