Wednesday, August 22, 2007
World Wrestling Something or Other
Reha called me on my hateful non-iPhone cellular Blackberry +2 Device of Loathing.
“Hey, Jon!”
I move my head in circles, trying to get better reception, “Hey, Re, what’s up?”
“Where are you?”
More tipping and twirling of my head, “I’m right here, at my desk.”
“What are you doing?”
“Um, just working, I guess. Why?”
“Well, it sounds like you are over there in a wrestling match or something.”
“Well, yeah, Re, there is a bear here, and I’ve wrestled it to the ground. He had my phone.”
“Oh, is Richard there?”
And I fell over and died laughing.
See, because Richard? Gay. And he’s not just gay, he’s a “sub-species” of gay guy who classifies himself as a ”bear."
I explained all of this “bear” stuff to Reha a while ago as a way to prove to her that my beard was, in fact attractive to at least some people and not at all throughly goofy looking, since Richard said that my beard made me look “hot” and “adorable” and not at all like one of the guys from ZZ Top, which frankly, though I was flattered, I was a bit nonplussed, since I really am going for the ZZ Top look. It’s either the ZZ Top look or until Reha refuses to be seen in public with me or I have to rip my face off because it itches ALL THE TIME.
Anyway, that’s a whole lot of explanation for not a lot of joke, but I just had to share with you the fact that my wife made a completely out of character funny.
And to point out yet again, that I need an iPhone instead of the unholy monstrosity that is the Blackberry 7100 series from Sprint.
well colour me stupid, i am a gay (albeit a gay girl) and i had never heard the term bear used that way before… sounds to me like i need to find some gay male friends to hang out with!
funny stuff!
Posted by kelly on 08/21/07 at 11:13 PMRichard also informed me what a “twinkie” was. And a bunch of stuff about “water sports” that I’m pretty sure I didn’t need to know. Then he started going into taxonomies about bandannas and how if you wear a blue one in your back left pocket it means “X” and if you wear a yellow one in your right pocket it means “Y.” It’s all very confusing.
Which is one way (beside not being into dudes) that I know I’m not gay. I could never keep all that stuff straight in my head.
Yeah, I said, “straight” up there. (cue rim-shot
Posted by jon on 08/21/07 at 11:30 PMplease tell me what a twinkie means in his world, because in my world it means oen of those air headed, surgically enhanced annoying, lipsticked, perfume sprayed hags....
Posted by kelly on 08/22/07 at 10:30 AMTwink:
An attractive, boyish-looking, young gay man. The stereotypical twink is 18-22, slender with little or no body hair, often blonde, dresses in club wear even at 10:00 AM, and is not particularly intelligent. A twink is the gay answer to the blonde bimbo cheerleader.
Posted by Richard on 08/22/07 at 10:41 AMwell that is just about the same thing as a twinkie in girl-land! Thanks there for teaching this lesbian something new today! A big hello to your friend Richard!
Posted by kelly on 08/22/07 at 01:22 PMKelly… (and Richard)
I feel like I’m bridging some great divide, bring a lesbian and a gay man together, here on the same page!
I wonder if those guys working for peace in the Middle East need a hand? :-] I’m available if they need any assistance.
Posted by jon on 08/22/07 at 01:26 PM
Holy Crap! Look at all this STUFF down here. It's awesome!
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Really, I'm glad you made it down here. Almost no one ever comes down here. I'm like in a freaking dungeon down here. I get lonely. But not you. YOU made it all the way to the end of the page. For this I think I've a little crush on you. I don't know, is "love" to strong a word to use in this situation? Well, if it's not "love," then it's very strong "like." I'm totally in like with you for coming down here. You are awesome. Please love me back! I know, I know, I shouldn't be all needy, it's not attractive at all, but you don't know how it is to be stuck down here. Who scrolls all the way to the end of a page anymore these days? Anyway, thanks for shedding some light down here in the depths. I appreciate it. Shoot me an email and I'll send you a dollar, OK?
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