Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Why I’m Married to my Wife

This is my attempt at being squishy on this Valentine’s Day. It’s a hard thing and I’m not even sure I should be doing it.




A long time ago, I met Reha. And then my life changed.

It’s a simple thing, really, you meet a person and that person changes your life. Now obviously, depending on how things play out, that change can be a good thing or a just plain rotten. In my case with Reha and at the end of the equation, I’m sure I’ve taken more than I’ve given. The equation doesn’t balance and she probably comes away being cheated in the end. Especially at the beginning of the rather tricky dance that we call our marriage.

And here is why I come up overdrawn in the bank balance of our lives: I’m just not as good a person as she is. It’s good to admit it out loud.

Now, that’s not to say I’m a BAD person. No, I love the kids and puppies and rainbows and tend to at least try and do the right thing most of the time (whee! how many qualifiers can you count in that sentence?) But Reha… oh man, Reha is just fundamentally better at being a real live human than I am and I pale in comparison.

Let’s run a few comparisons, just for giggles, Mmm’k?

She’s smarter than I am. Well, I should say, she’s “differently” smarter than I am. I could never do her job, for example. I just have a talent for remembering useless facts. Reha has analytical abilities of which I’m not even in the same ballpark. I’m triple A and she’s the freaking Yankees. Reha is an attorney and graduated in the stratosphere of her law school class. I dropped out of college. (OK, I was kicked out for “failure to progress” (whatever that means), but it’s pretty much the same thing).

She is self-analytical in a way that means she is always trying to understand herself and make herself into a better version of herself. Me, I only talk about how I feel or think about my actions when someone plants a weapon in front of me and begins making threats.

She reads books. Now, I read books, too, but mine tend to have lasers, robots, magicians, PHP code, or swordplay, while the books she reads are “important” and you have to think about them. Deep stuff. And she goes to book clubs to talk about the important books with other really, really smart people.

Reha has a devotion to our children which borders on fanatical. You just would not believe the amount of energy she expends making sure the kids are happy, well-adjusted and fed properly. I’m more of the “Hey, look, a Mythbusters episode we’ve only seen 12 times! Bring that pizza in here!” kind of fellow.

She’s funny and in an unconventional way. She laughs during movies when no one else is laughing. She finds humor in unexpected places. OK, sometimes I do the funny thing, too, but sadly it’s my most prominent trait.

This is difficult to describe, but when you are talking with her, she is engaged in what you are saying. It goes beyond mere listening. When you are talking to her, she is doing more than just thinking about what she is going to say next. Can’t say I even know how to begin to do that.

She’s lovely. You’ve seen pics of me, right? We really are a Beauty and the Beast pair of people. She has a bit of grey hair which bugs her, but otherwise she looks EXACTLY how she did when we got married. I’m pretty sure she wasn’t thinking that I’d turn into a lumpy, balding guy when we first got together. Sorry about that, babe. I didn’t know about the bald thing either, and what can I say, I love ice cream more than being skinny.

So in the end, there are times when I fail to understand why she choose and continues to choose to be with me. I’m not sure exactly what I bring to the table. She could do better, obviously.

I am grateful to all deities past and present that I get to be with her. She has shown me how to be a “real” man. I understand myself better, because I hang around her. I know it sounds trite, but she helps me be a better human and that is probably the best thing I think one person can do for another.

Sure do love ya, babe.

1. Dude. This makes my clever greeting card look really lame. Sorry but there’s just NO WAY I’m letting my wife read this.

   If it’s any consolation to you, I totally get that ice cream thing.

   Posted by Radioactive Jam  on  02/14/07  at  05:14 PM

2. Jon, you forgot to mention that she has better taste in sweaters (see above) than you do.  Sorry dude, but I’m on her side on this one.

   Posted by michael  on  02/14/07  at  09:26 PM

3. RaJ… I’ll take that as a compliment. :-]

   Michael… you are correct, sir. She has way better taste in clothing than I do. You can always tell the clothes that she picked out for me. They match for one thing. For another, they are rarely t-shirts with clever slogans on them.

   Posted by jon  on  02/14/07  at  09:33 PM

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