Thursday, September 07, 2006

When a Man Loves a Woman

Two things about this little post-a-rooni that you need to know. One, Reha and I have a bit of disagreement about facts sometimes. When they are facts dealing with really, really stupid things, like who sang “Afternoon Delight” (Starland Vocal Band, hell yeah, baby!), I’m usually spot on. I know lots and lots of terribly useless trivia. It’s a gift or a curse depending on how you look at it. But when it comes to facts revolving around conversations, discussions or facts pertaining to our relationship, Reha has a solid lock on all that jazz. She remembers everything either of us has ever said or done and can quote chapter and verse on just about every aspect of our relationship. I leave it to the reader to decide which is a more useful skill. Though, again, her skill has drawbacks as well. Some things are best forgotten in a relationship, I think. Though I could be wrong about that.

Two, Carrie has a weird school schedule right now, whose details I won’t go into. But she’s been going to work with Re, going to class and then napping all afternoon on Reha’s office floor.

So there’s your background for the following IM conversation Re and I had yesterday morning. (My editorial notes are in italics)

9:37 AM
jon: so you have Carrie there now?
Reha: no
Reha: I left her at home This should have been my first clue. Note how I failed to pick up on the sarcasm
jon: you did?
jon:  are you going to pick her up?
Reha: I thought you were
9:38 AM
jon: did we discuss this?
9:39 AM
Reha: yeah
Reha: don’t you remember?
jon: nope Now I have fear that we’ve discuss this at length and that I wasn’t paying attention.
jon: sorry about that Trying to stake out my ground on the apology front.
jon: what time do I need to pick her up?
9:40 AM 
jon: 10:30?
jon: and drop her off at the Library, right? Full on panic mode as I think, “I have NO recollection of this conversation” and it seems totally plausible a) that we’ve changed the plans and b) I don’t have clue ONE as to what the new plans might be.
Reha: yeah, and can you get me some lunch while you’re out?
9:41 AM 
Reha: and bring it to me
jon: that’ll be kind of early Buying my love some lunch, one of my most sacred duties. Plus, it would make up for not having been listening properly last night.
jon: but what do you want?
Reha: thai siam
jon: when did we talk about this? See, I’m having my doubts that the conversation about my picking her up every took place, but I soldier on, my friends, I soldier on.
9:42 AM 
Reha: well, of course I didn’t note the date and time
jon: was it last night?
9:45 AM 
jon: no one is answering [the phone] at our house If I’m going to pick the child up, she’d better be ready for me when I get there. Plus, I’m still not completely convinced that we’d talked about this last night.
jon: was Carrie conscious when you left?
9:47 AM 
Reha: try my cell
Reha: I think I left it at home She’s so crafty, this woman I married.
9:48 AM 
jon: did you leave it right by her?
jon: because otherwise, she’s not going to rouse
9:49 AM 
jon: it’d have to be set on “shake” not just “vibrate”
Reha: right
Now I’ve clued in. Called the cell and Carrie answered and said, “of course, I’m at Mom’s office.”
9:50 AM 
jon: not funny
jon: that’s mean
Reha: you would know
Reha: since you’re the god of humor
9:52 AM 
jon: were you going to let me go and get her?
Reha: no, of course not!
Reha: work time is important
Reha: that’s why I did the whole
jon: because that would have been mean
9:53 AM 
Reha: try the cell phone thing
jon: well, I was suspicious at that point
Insert very bad Confucius-esque voice for Reha here
Reha: ah
Reha: you very smart
Reha: grasshopper
jon: because that wasn’t going to wake her up
Reha: oh, yes
Reha: you
Reha: very bright
9:54 AM 
jon: but
jon: please note how very, very trusting I was that YOU WERE RIGHT
Bad, bad asian accent *off*
9:55 AM 
Reha: yes
Reha: and
Reha: even huger to me
Reha: you never said
Reha: why on earth would you leave her??
jon: and that I was going totally going to buy you lunch

What’s the lesson here, kids? Not sure, but I do know that Reha is not really the “gullible” one at the Deal Family Compound.

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Holy Crap! Look at all this STUFF down here. It's awesome!

 

Really, I'm glad you made it down here. Almost no one ever comes down here. I'm like in a freaking dungeon down here. I get lonely. But not you. YOU made it all the way to the end of the page. For this I think I've a little crush on you. I don't know, is "love" to strong a word to use in this situation? Well, if it's not "love," then it's very strong "like." I'm totally in like with you for coming down here. You are awesome. Please love me back! I know, I know, I shouldn't be all needy, it's not attractive at all, but you don't know how it is to be stuck down here. Who scrolls all the way to the end of a page anymore these days? Anyway, thanks for shedding some light down here in the depths. I appreciate it. Shoot me an email and I'll send you a dollar, OK?

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