Wednesday, May 23, 2007

What Are They Teaching Them at That Junior High?

Lucas (13) and I were running an errand last night and he wanted to hear “that cool song about MTV with the cool guitar” at the begining.

“You mean, Money for Nothing by Dire Straights?” and I spin the dial on the iPod to the song.

“Yeah, that one!”

We listen to it for a while and it comes to the mildly offensive lyric:

The little faggot with the earing and the make-up
Yeah buddy, that’s his own hair
That little faggot got his own jet airplane
That little faggot, he’s a millionaire

I wasn’t going to censor the song, but I did feel kind of bad for singing it at the top of my lungs as we barreled down I-80.

“So Lucas, that’s not the nicest thing he could say there, you know.”

“Mhm. Yeah, uh-huh.”

“You know what that means, don’t you? Faggot?”

“Yeah, something about sticks.”

I turned the music down, “Really? That’s what you think that means? You’ve heard other people call each other faggot at school?”

“Shee-yeah, Dad. ALL the time. People call each other faggot all the time.”

“Bunch of sticks.”

“Yeah, seems kind of weird.”

“Lucas.”

“Yeah, Dad?”

“Lucas, technically, that is what the word means, a bunch of sticks. But it’s also mostly a highly derogatory and offensive word for homosexuals.”

“Oh! Well, everyone at school thinks it’s a bunch of sticks.”

“Nu-uh!”

“No! They totally do. Bunch of sticks! Someone looked it up, I think.”

So we had a little conversation about slang words and that he should NEVER call anyone that. And that fag was essentially the same thing, unless he was in England, in which case someone is probably just asking him for a cigarette.

“Which would be a problem, because I don’t smoke, Dad.”

I’m still wrapping my head around the fact that in this day and age a group of seventh graders could be so sheltered/protected/swathed in veils/oblivious that they wouldn’t know about that sort of slang. And I depend on the school system for a quality education! I pay my taxes! Who’s in charge of teaching these kids about Life and all its horrors?

I guess I have a calling in life, after all.

1. Just this week I found out that Mike has always thought Paul Simon was singing “Seeking only workman’s wages, I go looking for a job, but I get no offers - JUST A COMEHOME FROM THE WARZONE SECOND AVENUE”.  !!!??

   I love my innocent, oblivious husband, whose mind does NOT go to the banal and worldly obvious.

   Of course I corrected him.  What do you take me for, a kindhearted soul?

   Posted by elizabeth_S  on  05/23/07  at  05:29 AM

2. Thanks. I really needed to have that song stuck in my head today.

   Posted by Radioactive Jam  on  05/23/07  at  06:03 AM

3. Liz…

   What on earth did he think the meaning of the next couple of lines in that song?

   I do declare there were times when I was so lonesome
   I took some comfort there

   How’s that jibe with the War Zone? :-]

   Posted by jon  on  05/23/07  at  08:37 AM

4. thank god for dear old dad!  =)

   my daughter learned all sorts of handy things from me ... =) Most of them things I’d never admit to!

   Posted by kellynerd  on  05/23/07  at  08:44 AM

5. At my junior high hearing, “fag” meant: duck you’re about to get punched in the face.  I like Lucas’ version and school much better.

   Posted by michael  on  05/23/07  at  01:17 PM

6. I love how kids take things so literally.

   As a young girl of 10, I learned the word “bastard” meant a child with no father.  So I used it the very next opportunity I had.  At school.  St. Joseph’s Catholic Elementary School.  Sr. Agatha was not as understanding or as informative as you.

   Posted by Kerstin  on  05/23/07  at  04:58 PM

7. Good post… it reminded me of a conversation I had (a few) years ago with my eight year old.  He was talking about and point to a boy he knew in a crowd of kids.  I asked him if he meant the asian one or the East-Indian one I thought he may have been pointing too.  He looked at me like I was talking to him in another language and said “the one with the blue shorts”.

   Posted by the queen  on  05/24/07  at  10:35 AM

8. Jon, that’s EXACTLY what I asked him :)

   He’s so cute when he gets that sheepish voice.  “Um, you know, that he took comfort, uh, in the trenches...you know...pondering...stuff...”

   I nearly wrenched something resisting the laugh/snort.

   Did you know there’s an official word for such mis-hearings?  Mondegreens.  Lots o’ fun, those.  “‘Scuse me while I kiss this guy...”

   Posted by Elizabeth  on  05/24/07  at  10:57 AM

9. Heh, thanks… Money for Nothing is one of my favorite songs (= I just happen to have an 8:20-some long version ... probably the coolest thing about it is the random “Hubba Bubba” in the middle of the song (or at least that’s what I always thought it was… maybe that’s a naughty word, too?).

   Elizabeth: That’s actually an exception… I read about it at Language Log. Basically, it boils down to this: “Kiss this guy” and “Kiss the Sky” essentially sound the same, at least when pronounced that fast, so you really have to know.

   Posted by Nils  on  05/30/07  at  07:38 PM

Commenting is not available in this weblog entry.

Holy Crap! Look at all this STUFF down here. It's awesome!

 

Really, I'm glad you made it down here. Almost no one ever comes down here. I'm like in a freaking dungeon down here. I get lonely. But not you. YOU made it all the way to the end of the page. For this I think I've a little crush on you. I don't know, is "love" to strong a word to use in this situation? Well, if it's not "love," then it's very strong "like." I'm totally in like with you for coming down here. You are awesome. Please love me back! I know, I know, I shouldn't be all needy, it's not attractive at all, but you don't know how it is to be stuck down here. Who scrolls all the way to the end of a page anymore these days? Anyway, thanks for shedding some light down here in the depths. I appreciate it. Shoot me an email and I'll send you a dollar, OK?

©2005-2010 Jon B. Deal All Rights Reserved. All comments belong to the respective commenters.