Thursday, March 01, 2007

Unacceptable Nicknames for Ellis

If you value your life, do not call our youngest daughter any of the following. She will either: A) stare at you blankly and not respond, B) respond violently and throw something at you. There is no grey area in her pre-school mind.

And this morning, I called her “Cherry Blossom,” which I note, was approved yesterday and she yelled at me and then stuck me with a shiv made from doll parts she’d been honing for weeks. I’m still bleeding as a matter of fact.

Also, for the record, I have indeed called her EACH of those nicknames. And EACH time she says (sometimes even politely), “My name is Ellis. Not Kerfluffle Toes, Dad.” Then she usually hucks a jar of plum preserves at my head.

Posted by Jon on 03/01/07 at 12:06 AM

  1. These are all excellent names; I can’t understand her not liking them.

    I thought not many people knew the word ‘carbuncle’, never mind used it in any context. Besides me. I renamed my brother-in-law “Carbuncle Oglethorpe” and called him Carbuncle for years, until he changed his name (from Gary) to Seymour Weedmeyer. He didn’t do this because he disliked Carbuncle Oglethorpe; no, he simply preferred the nickname “Seaweed.” I understood, and felt more than a twinge of envy.

    Also, plum preserves sound really tasty.

    Posted by Radioactive Jam  on  03/01/07  at  08:46 AM

  2. Try calling your 12 year old son “Honey bunny” at school, in front of his friends and see what body part he uses to beat you amongst your head and shoulders.

    (It was an accident, I swear)

    By the way, my verification word below is “activity69” hehehe, that’s dirty.

    Posted by Woman with Kids  on  03/01/07  at  08:59 AM

  3. Fran?

    My 6 year old niece is currently objecting to being called Standard Issue. Normally I call her shorty.

    Posted by michael  on  03/01/07  at  09:34 AM

  4. I used to publish my meanderings under the pseudonym “Fortenberry Witherspoon” I can’t remember why, exactly, but it seemed desperately important at the time. The things we do as youth…

    Standard Issue… THAT IS TWELVE KINDS OF AWESOME!

    Few males, especially those of the twelve year old variety, are going to be comfortable with “Honey Bunny.” Though I’m sure he is cute and deserving of that name. :-] I think I can hear the plaintive “Moooommmm!!! Jeeeez!” now.

    Posted by jon  on  03/01/07  at  11:11 AM

  5. O.K., Let me guess, your daughter is 3, right?  My 3 year old response when you call her ANYTHING, but her given name, “I am not your snuggle-bunny (or whatever cute nickname we have called her), I just Rosie.” This aforementioned sentence is always uttered with a look of disgust for the dunderhead who cannot for the life of them remember that she is “just Rosie”. 

    BTW, at your suggestion, I purchased Newsfire and am liking it and have discovered the joys of the “services” menu.  Keep with the tips—we just switched back over to Mac this year and I know so very little!

    Posted by colleen  on  03/02/07  at  09:51 AM

  6. Three year olds… they can’t take a joke. Subtly is not their strong suit.

    I should get a kick back from the NewFire peeps! :-]

    Posted by jon  on  03/02/07  at  09:58 AM
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