Friday, April 18, 2008
They Are Getting Desperate
As you may know, our oldest Child of Love is probably going to leave our nest come fall and go off to college.
How am I dealing with it? I’m… adjusting. Le sigh. Le great big emo sigh.
The other day she got this in the mail:
Forget the pic of Red Sox pitcher Josh Beckett on the cover. Note the title and who it is from.
Hooah! from the Army National Guard.
Yes, they are trying to recruit MY daughter for the Army.
Obviously, they have done zero homework on her and this is just a part of a mass mailing they send to all High School seniors. Pigs will fly out her butt before she’d ever set foot in a recruiter’s office. Plus, she’d have to step over my dead body which would be barricading the door to her room.
Though I do get a smile thinking about the marketing people in the Army, all coddled together:
“Sir, recruiting levels are down for this graduating class! What should we do?”
“Well, I guess we better start trying to get anyone we can. Let’s push some of those little magazines out to the nerdy-hippie-pacifists. See if we get any hits. You never know, we may get lucky.”
OK, obviously not, but to know my daughter even in the slightest is to know that she would do very poorly in the Army.
My husband wanted to be in the reserves more than anything. When I went with him to the office, they tried to recruit ME.
Yes, because people like me should totally be responsible for guarding our country. If I encountered an insurgent I would probably make them pinkie swear they weren’t armed and then put some Hello Kitty decal on their WOMD.
Posted by Loralee on 04/18/08 at 02:58 PMThe Army National Guard was ALL OVER MY SHIT when I graduated from hight school! They were far more persistent than the Mormon’s have ever been.
Posted by Pants on 04/18/08 at 03:02 PMHilarious. Don’t worry about Carrie leaving home. She sounds like she’ll be more than able to look out for herself.
Posted by Pete Dunn on 04/18/08 at 03:39 PMYou have missed the point of their entire marketing campaign. They are actually trying to get to YOU through her. You are the man. They don’t want women who can’t be on the front lines. They want strong, strong, men. Men who like to hunt and watch sports and adjust themselves at the worst of times. (Not saying any of these are you...except maybe the strong part.)
So see it for what it is. Don’t give in. Don’t enlist.
Posted by Sterkworks on 04/19/08 at 05:21 PMI grew up around commercial fishing, down the street from the Coast Guard cutter the Point Glass http://tinyurl.com/42w29f and almost early up’d for the Coast Guard. After I decided not join the Coast Guard they left me alone, but the guys from the Army would not leave me be. I was rather humiliated by being 18 and having to have my mom chew out an Army recruiter to get them to leave me be.
Think about it this way, the more effort they put into trying to recruit Carrie that’s less time and money they have to recruit some poor sucker that might actually join. Carrie could be saving lives!
Posted by michael on 04/19/08 at 05:42 PMHey Jon,
If I buy an iPhone can I load iWorks on it?
Posted by michael on 04/19/08 at 05:45 PMHmmm, whaa?
Sorry; totally distracted by photo of Josh Beckett. Hooah!
Posted by Novembrance on 04/20/08 at 03:28 AM
Holy Crap! Look at all this STUFF down here. It's awesome!
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Really, I'm glad you made it down here. Almost no one ever comes down here. I'm like in a freaking dungeon down here. I get lonely. But not you. YOU made it all the way to the end of the page. For this I think I've a little crush on you. I don't know, is "love" to strong a word to use in this situation? Well, if it's not "love," then it's very strong "like." I'm totally in like with you for coming down here. You are awesome. Please love me back! I know, I know, I shouldn't be all needy, it's not attractive at all, but you don't know how it is to be stuck down here. Who scrolls all the way to the end of a page anymore these days? Anyway, thanks for shedding some light down here in the depths. I appreciate it. Shoot me an email and I'll send you a dollar, OK?
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