Thursday, June 12, 2008

Territorial Disputes

Every now and then I like to sit in the back seat of our van with the kids.

Well, it’s not as if I like to sit back there, but Reha sometimes is driving and I’ve lost a “shotgun!” call to Lucas or Carrie and instead of using brute force to go ahead and sit in the front seat, I elect to sit in the back with the little kids.

It’s fun to sit back there. It’s a totally different perspective on the drive. Except that I invariably get into a fight with our five year old daughter.

Ellis: Daddy is pinching me!

Me: Am NOT!

Jon: Are too!

[I’ll spare you the twenty minutes of that back and forth. Kids NEVER tire of the “Are too!/Am not!” game. Though E. meets her match in me. I have stamina like you wouldn’t believe for that sort of thing.]

J: She got on my side!

E: Did not!

J [drawing an imaginary line down the seat, one that clearly shows that I have 2/3 of the seat]: Look, everything on THIS side of the line is MY side. Stay on YOUR side.

E [not falling for that crap and drawing a line giving her 2/3 of the seat]: Nu-uh. THIS is MY side. You are on my side. So I can hit you.

J: OW! Stop hitting me! Stay on YOUR side!

[Repeat that for a while at escalating volume]

Finally…

Reha [from the driver’s seat]: Listen, if you don’t KNOCK IT OFF; I am totally serious and I will separate you two.

J: She started it!

R: Jon.

J: Fine, I started it, but still.

R: You are not allowed to sit in the back anymore.

Posted by Jon on 06/12/08 at 01:29 PM

  1. Haha! Thanks for the laugh. I’d try this with my own family but it would mean that one of my kids would be driving. Gah!

    Posted by Lillian  on  06/13/08  at  03:45 PM

  2. R: You are not allowed to sit in the back anymore.

    Which is the judgment you wanted in the first place, isn’t it??

    Posted by MitMoi  on  06/13/08  at  03:54 PM

  3. You hit the nail on the head.

    That sounds just like my kids in the car.

    “Mommy! She’s pinching me.”
    “Am not!”
    “Are too”

    Bleah, bleah, bleah. It gets old pretty fast. Especially when there is something interesting on Fresh Air.

    Posted by Sue  on  06/15/08  at  08:04 PM
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