Friday, July 06, 2007

Stop Anthropomorphizing My Food, I Just Want to Have a Meal

The other day we did our usual dance at the Wendy’s drive-thru. Wherein, we waited in line with all the kids in the back of the van and we all yelled what we wanted into the tinny drive-thru microphone at the same time and then complained when the wage slave on the other end had to ask us (politely) to repeat our order.

Reha noted the ad for the Baconator™ sandwich on the menu display that read “The Baconator™, it can sense fear,” and she said, “that doesn’t make sense.”

“What do you mean, it’s awesome! It’s a sandwich so powerful, so mighty and so undeniably strapping that it may gain sentience at any moment and execute its evil world domination plans.”

“But it’s just a hamburger with bacon on it, it can’t do that. It’s a sandwich, what is there to fear? Why would you be afraid of a sandwich? I don’t get it. If anything the hamburger should be afraid, after all, you are eating it.”

I’ll give you a moment while you reflect on the fact that it’s quite possible that there isn’t a more literal-minded and logical person on the planet than my wife.

“Don’t you get it? The Baconator! Run for the hills, it will KILL you!”

“…”

“Though technically, given the amount of bacon, saturated fat, unsaturated fat, trans-fats and other kinds of fat they haven’t given name to yet in the Baconator, I’m guessing it can kill you in more than one way. Just eating the thing might stop your heart dead in its tracks.”

“Why is this a good ad campaign?”

So it’s pretty obvious to me that my wife is not the target demographic for the Baconator. I’m guessing here, but I’m pretty sure the Baconator ad campaign and probably even the sandwich itself, only truly appeals to men.

For the record, I had a salad.

Posted by Jon on 07/06/07 at 12:02 AM
  1. I’m holding out for the soy baconator garden burger because I think it’s a kinder gentler burger that will not taunt my veggie lifestyle.

    Posted by Joe  on  07/07/07  at  09:45 PM
  2. Great story! I can be like your wife sometimes, but I got the Baconator ad campain right away. I think its becuse I have a high repect for bacon and what it can do in large numbers.

    Posted by Mosley  on  07/09/07  at  11:20 AM
Commenting is not available in this weblog entry.

 

Holy Crap! Look at all this STUFF down here. It's awesome!

 

Really, I'm glad you made it down here. Almost no one ever comes down here. I'm like in a freaking dungeon down here. I get lonely. But not you. YOU made it all the way to the end of the page. For this I think I've a little crush on you. I don't know, is "love" to strong a word to use in this situation? Well, if it's not "love," then it's very strong "like." I'm totally in like with you for coming down here. You are awesome. Please love me back! I know, I know, I shouldn't be all needy, it's not attractive at all, but you don't know how it is to be stuck down here. Who scrolls all the way to the end of a page anymore these days? Anyway, thanks for shedding some light down here in the depths. I appreciate it. Shoot me an email and I'll send you a dollar, OK?


©2005-2010 Jon B. Deal All Rights Reserved. All comments belong to the respective commenters.