Wednesday, December 14, 2005

So, That Wasn’t the Most Fun I’ve Ever Had

Long story short. I had my gall bladder removed on Monday evening.

Longer story: I’ve had gall bladder problems ever since I lost a bunch of weight a couple years ago. In my tiny mind I traded one problem (eventual cardio-vasucular disease) for another (SEVERE, INCREDIBLE and annoying bouts of pain from an inflamed gall bladder). On the whole, I was a bit happier with impending heart disease. Got to eat a lot of cheese and ice cream and I never had to go running. Plus, the heart disease thing wasn’t a surety.

Anyway, I’d been having bouts of intense upper right quadrant pain for over a year. I’d seen docs and was going to have the surgery done, but not until after the first of the year and I was done with the remodel, etc. I’d taken a couple of days off work for the strabismus surgery as well as out NYC trip and work had been quite understanding and I didn’t want to press my luck.

So Sunday at 5:16 AM, I woke up with excruciating pain in the same old area. After tossing and turning for over an hour I decided to go to the ER. I drove myself because Re. had to stay home because of Ellis and the rest of the kidlets, and I certainly WAS NOT going to call for an ambulance. But the nice thing about driving around SLC at 6 AM on Sunday is that it’s totally deserted. And actually the ER was pretty empty as well. No waiting! A miracle!

They gave me some morphine and did an ultrasound and said, “Your gall bladder is chuck full o’ stones, they won’t go away on their own, when do you want to schedule surgery?” I was still kind of hoping I could hold off but they assured me that the time of “holding off” was over.

I drove home (notwithstanding the fresh morphine shot I’d had and specific instructions NOT to drive under the influence) with fresh resolve to call the surgeon on Monday so he could squeeze my operation in on Tuesday. In retrospect, I think I might be one of those people who has to have their car keys forcibly removed from his person while intoxicated. You learn something new everyday!

Once I was home, I had Reha scurry off to the pharmacy to fill my opiate prescription. While she was gone, the nausea began. Usually when I’d have a gall stone episode, I have a bit of nausea, but I’d only thrown up once. This time felt different, though. I KNEW I was going to toss cookies and that posed a problem. If I couldn’t keep pain meds down, I was going to be in spot of trouble. Executive summary, I called the ER doc and we decided that I should come in and be admitted for pain management with the possibility of surgery that evening, but more likely late Monday afternoon.

So I spent the rest of Sunday day/evening/all day Monday in the warm enveloping embrace of opiates. And phenigran (sp?) to control nausea, which has the added benefit of knocking you flat on your booty.

Late Monday afternoon (like 5:30) the wheeled me down to surgery. They were able to do it laproscopically (three small holes and one larger one, instead of one HUGE gash).

OK, I’m going to wind this up, because my typing abilities are going downhill and I’m sort of listing to one side.

After the surgery, all my organs pretty much shut down. Practical upshot: Couldn’t pee and had to be catheterized. Oh boy, is that FUN!

I also became pretty dehydrated and they blew the one good vein I had by putting magnesium through it. Does magnesium burn when it goes in? YES! Do I have TWELVE discrete holes in my arms from where they tried and failed to find I.V. sites? Yes. And ow.

But I’m much better. Though I did not ask for them, they gave me the gallstones in a small cup. Totally gross. I’ll have pictures up tomorrow! :-]

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Holy Crap! Look at all this STUFF down here. It's awesome!

 

Really, I'm glad you made it down here. Almost no one ever comes down here. I'm like in a freaking dungeon down here. I get lonely. But not you. YOU made it all the way to the end of the page. For this I think I've a little crush on you. I don't know, is "love" to strong a word to use in this situation? Well, if it's not "love," then it's very strong "like." I'm totally in like with you for coming down here. You are awesome. Please love me back! I know, I know, I shouldn't be all needy, it's not attractive at all, but you don't know how it is to be stuck down here. Who scrolls all the way to the end of a page anymore these days? Anyway, thanks for shedding some light down here in the depths. I appreciate it. Shoot me an email and I'll send you a dollar, OK?

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