Thursday, June 05, 2008

Pinky Tuscadero

I renewed my Utah driver’s license a little while ago and when it finally came I noticed a couple things about it.

A) it has more “security features” than you can shake a stick at.

B) IT IS VERY PINK (The old ones used to be blue.)

I was talking about this with a very gay friend of mine about how I really liked the notion of some red-state mouth breathing yokel down in rural southern Utah having to flash his swishy PINK driver’s license to the clerk at the Maverick when he’s buying his Keystone Light on a Saturday night.

Amusing, no?

Now personally, I am a flaming hetero, but working in the graphics industry as I do, I’ve come to know and respect A LOT of gay men. (I’ve also come to be annoyed by a few as well, since by all accounts, they are people and people tend to annoy me on occasion).

Anyway, my gay friend is always telling me that I would make a great gay man.

And it’s true, I’d probably make a fabulous gay man. In the realm of stereotypically “gay things,” I appreciate design and beauty and even fashion a little bit. (Let’s just say this: I’m more likely to watch E! than I am ESPN. Though I’m even more likely to be watching the Sci-Fi channel which puts me in a whole different sub-class, I guess). This is how you get to the definition of metrosexual, by the way. I am a hetero guy, who doesn’t mind and enjoys certain “gay things.”

Except for the part about penises.

Just can’t get over the fact that I’m NOT into those.

1. Sarah got mad when she saw my pink license. I think she has one of her own now. I just wish it had Hello Kitty or some sort of Sanrio character as a form of security.

   Posted by Pants  on  06/05/08  at  10:59 AM

2. Question: Are you sure they’re ALL pink? Or does the Utah Department of Transportation know something (say, something latent) about you that you don’t know?

   (Also, hi! First time commenter here.)

   Posted by mike  on  06/05/08  at  11:43 AM

3. I’m trying to think of a witty comment, but I can’t stop giggling over those last two lines.

   Posted by Angella  on  06/05/08  at  12:11 PM

4. Good job on making light of a very serious subject in my family. (seeing as my brother decided he was Gay, a few years ago. It’s just not talked about)
   I love the last lines.. and the part about people annoying you. I couldn’t agree more.

   Posted by darci  on  06/05/08  at  07:44 PM

5. I love pink!

   Posted by Abaddon  on  06/05/08  at  09:05 PM

6. Metrosexual, you mean like wearing clogs and carrying a man-bag (hey, I’ve got work stuff and my camera in that bag)? I like to cook and enjoy design, art and the like so I guess I could be metrosexual.

   I’m not real great on the he-man stuff; I can’t fix your car or build you a garage, which I guess heads me towards the metrosexual side of the isle.
   
   But, please mister he-man if you’re out there some where reading this, please don’t call me gay.  When it comes to penis’s I’m only into my own.

   Posted by michael  on  06/06/08  at  10:04 AM

7. i hate to burst your bubble of fabulousness, but when we had lunch the other day, i didn’t get any gay vibe off of you whatsoever. plus, you were a lousy kisser.

   Posted by brandon  on  06/06/08  at  11:15 AM

8. Saw this news clip from down your way.  Thought I’d share.

   Man kills self while shooting at skunk
   Published: May 27, 2008 at 5:53 PM

   BRIGHAM CITY, Utah, May 27 (UPI)—Sheriff’s deputies in Box Elder County, Utah, said a man died after he accidentally shot himself while pursuing a skunk.

   Deputies said Kelly Barfufs, 27, accidentally shot himself with a small caliber gun while attempting to kill the skunk, which he spotted while irrigating at his family’s farm, the Salt Lake Tribune reported Tuesday.

   Bartufs died while he was being transported by air to an Ogden, Utah, hospital.

   Box Elder County Sheriff’s Department Chief Deputy Kevin Potter said the incident is being investigated, but no foul play is suspected. He said local Utah residents commonly carry firearms to ward off skunks and raccoons.

   http://www.upi.com/Top_News/2008/05/27/Man_kills_self_while_shooting_at_skunk/UPI-25361211925208/

   Posted by michael  on  06/07/08  at  07:00 PM

9. You have answered a question I’ve had for months now since I got my own license and noticed the color change. I was wondering if maybe there might be issues if they were trying to give pink ones to the women and blue ones to the men - based on names maybe, or on the photographer’s personal conclusions - and then what if they got it wrong? Could there be lawsuits over the shame of a macho man named Pat with a pink driver’s license? Or what if they really couldn’t tell? Were there yellow licenses for those folks?

   It’s been keeping me awake at night. Thank you, thank you.

   Posted by Lillian  on  06/08/08  at  08:35 PM

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Holy Crap! Look at all this STUFF down here. It's awesome!

 

Really, I'm glad you made it down here. Almost no one ever comes down here. I'm like in a freaking dungeon down here. I get lonely. But not you. YOU made it all the way to the end of the page. For this I think I've a little crush on you. I don't know, is "love" to strong a word to use in this situation? Well, if it's not "love," then it's very strong "like." I'm totally in like with you for coming down here. You are awesome. Please love me back! I know, I know, I shouldn't be all needy, it's not attractive at all, but you don't know how it is to be stuck down here. Who scrolls all the way to the end of a page anymore these days? Anyway, thanks for shedding some light down here in the depths. I appreciate it. Shoot me an email and I'll send you a dollar, OK?

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