Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Beware the WLF
Reha and I were driving near a park last night and we saw what looked like million tiny feathers billowing and swirling around in the summer evening breeze.
R: Wow, look at that. What do you think that stuff is?
J: Hm. No idea. Looks like feathers. There is a duck pond right over there.
R: That’s a lot of feathers. Seems like far too many. I think it’s just petals from a dogwood tree or some other flowering tree.
J: Maybe a duck exploded.
R: What?!
J: Oh sure. Ducks can spontaneously combust, you know. Happens all the time.
R: …
J: You look skeptical, but this one time, I went camping and I was just calmly and normally feeding the ducks some bread scraps and I saw this duck get out of the water, walk toward me and then it just exploded. You never saw so many feathers in your whole life. They got everywhere, too. I was spitting feathers out of my mouth for about a week after that. Now that I think about it, maybe it wasn’t so spontaneous. Maybe it was a terrorist act. A suicide duck. And you know how geese have it in for me. Ever since that one time last fall when those canadian geese overheard me pointing out that their “flying V” formation was lopsided and looked more like an upside down check mark. I’m telling you, we should go home right now and watch the news and see if there are any reports of water fowl terrorist groups taking credit and responsibility for what must have been a heinous and horrible act of violence. Seriously, you don’t hear a lot about it on the news, because of how the mainstream media has been completely co-opted by bird watchers, but the Waterfowl Liberation Front (the WLF for short) is very active around here.
R: I knew getting ice cream and allowing your sugar levels to increase was a bad idea.
Thought you were going for the Big, Bad WLF…
Then again, I wouldn’t be surprised if he were affiliated with the Waterfowl Liberation Front.
Imagine the meals he’d reap as a result. Wolves are so scrappy.
Posted by Jessica on 07/01/08 at 03:45 PMI am beginning to think that we are really siblings. Were you adopted? (I wasn’t, but you never know. It could be a whole “milkman” thing that is a dark family secret I don’t know about.)
Posted by Loralee on 07/01/08 at 05:45 PMcottonwood tree would be my guess
Posted by Cherilyn on 07/02/08 at 04:19 AMGood one.
I used to work for a company that usually just went by it’s initials: SLA. We got a lot of mileage out of that.
Posted by Michael on 07/02/08 at 06:10 PMI just laughed so hard I snorted. But I’m a girl, which means that of course I didn’t. So I just didn’t snort, which has my body/brain combo seriously messed up.
Way to go.
Posted by Kimberly on 07/04/08 at 07:40 PMtee hee… being married to you must be sooooo entertaining at times!
Posted by NerdGirl on 07/05/08 at 09:58 PMI was going to ask about Cottonwoods too - seeing as we have it so bad this year it’s looked like snow several days this month.
Posted by Aimee Greeblemonkey on 07/07/08 at 02:52 PM
Holy Crap! Look at all this STUFF down here. It's awesome!
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Really, I'm glad you made it down here. Almost no one ever comes down here. I'm like in a freaking dungeon down here. I get lonely. But not you. YOU made it all the way to the end of the page. For this I think I've a little crush on you. I don't know, is "love" to strong a word to use in this situation? Well, if it's not "love," then it's very strong "like." I'm totally in like with you for coming down here. You are awesome. Please love me back! I know, I know, I shouldn't be all needy, it's not attractive at all, but you don't know how it is to be stuck down here. Who scrolls all the way to the end of a page anymore these days? Anyway, thanks for shedding some light down here in the depths. I appreciate it. Shoot me an email and I'll send you a dollar, OK?
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