Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Matthew Baldwin Has a Defective Sense of Humor

Matthew Baldwin has been writing defective yeti (dy) since the dawn of time (around 2002, or the paleolithic era in blog years). In addition to his very funny defective yeti site, he also writes for the Morning News and a few other sites, which you will see littered in the links in this interview. He writes about lots of things, but I find his political humor to be particularly sharp. He works as a programmer by day, a crime fighter by late afternoons and a father and husband in the evenings. He lives in Seattle. And holy crap, look at how cute his kid is:





1. Do you have a specific person or audience in mind while you write? Or are you imagining the teeming unwashed masses of humanity out here on the internet spitting liquids out our noses and onto our keyboards?


As with most bloggers, I pretty much only think about myself. If I find something funny or interesting, I write about it; if I don’t, I don’t. This is manifest in the scattershot approach I take to defective yeti: I write about movies, books, board games (a hobby of mine), politics, parenting, pop culture, and whatever else pops in my head. If I were really intent on driving up my traffic I suppose I would narrow my focus, but, lacking ads on my site, I don’t really have any incentive to pander.


2. I know you loathe advertising in all its forms which I respect enormously, but are you ever tempted to throw some ads up on dy for a quick buck? Like, “it’s The Squirrelly’s b-day and the boy needs some toys! Get me the Google ad people, stat!”?


I hate how advertising has infiltrated every aspect of our lives (if I see a product placement in a movie, I will seethe for 20 minutes), and don’t want dy to be a party to that.


I’m not totally opposed to them—I have ads on Tricks of the Trade, for instance. I just don’t want to give companies license to put their words on my personal site. If they want to promote their product on dy, they can use comment spam like everyone else.


3. Anything you shy away from? (besides not naming your wife and child, for example)


My wife, my parents, and several of my closest friends read my blog, so I do have to watch myself. I also have a rule about not discussing my acquaintances, or my conversations with them, without their explicit permission. I don’t want people in my life worried that everything they say or do around me might be strip mined for content.


When it comes to politics, I generally limit myself to satire. There are so many people writing quality, substantive material about politics (I’m particularly fond of Kevin Drum of The Washington Monthly) that I don’t feel I have much to add, and don’t have any particular inclination to out myself as someone with only a superficial understanding of weighty issues.


4. Are you a performer? Do you stand out in a crowd as the “class clown” type? Or are you the person at the back of the room taking it all in and making notes for later?


A little of both. I am usually reserved in social situations, but if I wind up in the spotlight, I can tell a story with gusto. In fact I occasionally tell stories at A Guide To Visitors, a local show that’s like a live This American Life.


5. Many writers carry around notebook or something to jot ideas in throughout the day. Do you have anything like that?


Not really. But I have a pretty good memory for Teh Funny: if someone says something that makes me laugh, or if I have a thought I find amusing, I can usually stuff it into a mental pigeonhole until I can record it in my dy_ideas.txt file. Unfortunately, my ability to remember what the idiots sitting in the seats behind on my morning bus ride is balanced by my inability to remember just about anything else, up to and including dentist appointments, my social security number, and any state capitol that’s not also the name of a doughnut. (Bismark, North Dakota!)


6. Do you have someone you filter your writing through? Like someone who reads your stuff before you hit publish and will tell you in a brutally honest fashion, “Matthew, I can see what you are trying to do here, but it’s not working?”


No. But, after I post stuff to the web there are plenty of people who send thoughtful emails saying things like “Please let me know how I can paypal you enough money to buy a spellchecker.”


7. You do a fair amount of political humor, what are you original sources for the “hard news” CNN, Fox, etc.?


I can’t abide either CNN or Fox. Honestly, they are both so bad I don’t know how anyone can watch them without cringing in embarrassment on their behalf.


The Washington Post is my online newspaper of choice, and I listen to NPR on my morning commute. After that I pretty much skim headlines on Google News and Reuters. I also peruse a fair number of political blogs. In addition to the aforementioned Washington Monthly, I also read Political Wire, Talking Points Memo, Andrew Sullivan, and The Corner. I steer clear of the really strident stuff unless I’m feeling exceptionally pissed off about something; then I’ll wallow in the muck for a bit.


8. How much re-writing do you do on average? Or does the funny just happen as you type/write?


Almost none. I tend to compose (and revise) most of my entries in my head, before I type them up. Well, that’s not entirely true. I’ll usually begin with an outline of the post in my head, and the work is basically just figuring out how to get from one joke to the next.


9. Someone once told me that she felt there were two kinds of writers. People who started and were on a journey and didn’t know where they’d end up, and writers who had an outline and knew exactly what they’d be saying at any given moment; they’d make a nice outline for themselves. Do you think you fall into one of these neat little categories?


Yeah, I’m definitely more of an outliner. I’ve recently started writing crime fiction, and I’m amazed that some authors will start with just a scenario ("bank heist") and a character ("stage magician"), just wing it from there. I can’t even fathom how that works. Me, I can’t even start writing a mystery until I’ve figured out exactly how it will end.


The same is largely true with my blog posts: I need to have a good idea of the first sentence, the last sentence, and a handful of good lines or phrases. Lacking these, I won’t even begin.


10. Where do you write? Work (if it’s work and you’ll get in trouble for that, just say, the cafeteria :-]), home, bus stop, toilet, etc.? Do you have a routine or time when you write? Scented candles and a glass of red wine, that sort of thing?


I have no routine whatsoever, though every week I swear I’m going to start writing from 6:00 - 8:00 every morning. I’d do it, too, but it turns out that 6:00 AM is way too fucking early.


11. Since we don’t officially know each other, this may sound like a goofy question, but how many kids are in your family? How many of each flavor? Are you the oldest/youngest? (I have this theory that “professionally” funny people are either last born or only children). I could be very wrong about this.


I am the oldest of two children. Your theory sucks.


12. More media consumption: Do you read anyone for inspiration? Sites? Books? Any movies you could watch over and over again because they *always* make you laugh?


I’m somewhat embarrassed to admit that I read very few blogs these days; the few I do are written by friends of mine (John Moe’s Monkey Disaster, Maggie’s Mighty Girl, etc.). There are very few comedic films that I will watch repeatedly, though I usually try to catch Office Space, Rushmore, The Princess Bride and When Harry Met Sally every few years. I’ll also watch pretty much any episode of Arrested Development, The Office (either version), Freaks and Geeks, WKRP in Cincinnati or Taxi that I happen to encounter while channel surfing, regardless of how many times I’ve seen it before.


13. Do you have something that you’ve written (published or not), that you thought was hilarious, but no one else did? And you kept trying to explain why it’s funny and they still didn’t get it?


I’ve been pretty proud of all the “Holiday Survival Guide For Slackers” I’ve written for The Morning News (the 2005 one is especially good), but they typically run around December 23rd, when no one is online.


Honestly, I’ve proven to be a very poor predictor of which posts of mine will garner a lot of attention. One of my most popular posts of last year, a screed about soda, was something I just dashed off in 10 minutes. Meanwhile, other stuff that took me days to write—like my pilot for The Six Hundred Dollar Man—flop around like a landed trout for a few minutes and then quietly expire.


Oh, well. It’s all just confirmation of my motto: the secret to successful blogging is to not give a rat’s ass what your readers think.


14. Let’s talk about ego and writing for a second. I think it takes a pretty healthy self-esteem to put yourself out there. Especially the comedy stuff. Do you feel like you have a healthy ego? What would your wife say?


My two primary goals in writing dy are, and always have been, to (a) record random thoughts that flit through my head and would otherwise be forgotten immediately, and (b) keep myself writing. I don’t know if I would still be doing the site if I had never attracted a readership, but, for the first year or so, I had about 17 regular visitors and kept at it anyhow, without any expectation that my audience would grow. I guess that says something about something.


I’m a fairly confident person, in general. Paradoxically, I think this is because I am pretty realistic about my flaws: I’m terrible with names, I’m mechanically inept, I’m routinely absent-minded, I don’t enjoy socializing with people I don’t know well, etc. Knowing what you’re bad at allows you to confidently identify and stick with those things you are not-bad at.


My wife would probably agree with the proposition that I have an ego, I don’t know that she’d classify it as “healthy,” though.


15. Do you feel like you need the validation/praise/whatever that comes from writing a successful site? Since you aren’t doing dy for the money, are you doing it to entertain us and validate yourself at the same time?


Oh sure, of course. But I’ve also come to recognize how ephemeral is all is. When something like this goes Internet Supernova, it results in seventy-seven klonktillion people visiting one page on your blog for 30 seconds and then never returning. Afterwards you feel like you’ve been mugged.


16. Personally, I know I use humor as a disarming and/or self-defensive tactic. Do you feel that you ever hide behind your humor? Are you using humor so people will like you, is the blunt way my not-subtle wife would say that question. (She’s at attorney and not known for her subtly. :-])


As far as dy goes, I hide behind humor as a way of maintaining anonymity. By painting a portrait of myself using broad, hyperbolic strokes, I can convey to readers what I am like while skimping on specific details.


I use humor so that people will like me, yes—but I also brush my teeth and wear pants so people will like me, and don’t really see the distinction. Is your wife asking because she is looking for a way to get people to like her, what with being a lawyer and all?


17. Seems like you’ve been doing a lot more political satire of late; do you find yourself taking the whole political process less or more seriously? It also seems like you prod the Right more than the Left. Are they merely targets of opportunity because they’ve controlled everything of late? Do you see yourself doing satire “against” the Dems at some point? (Should they pull their heads out by some miracle and do well in 2008, that is.)


Actually, I do less political stuff than I used to—mostly because the Bush Administration has gotten so good at self-satire that I don’t have a lot to contribute.


I do more humor about the right because I find the right’s transgressions hilarious, while I find the left’s infuriating. It’s fun to think the other side sucks; it’s a drag to realize that your side does too.


18. Ever get any hate mail?


Almost never.


19. I’ve noticed that you tend to keep dy pretty clean. PG-13 at worst. Is that on purpose? (Again, personally, I think it’s much harder to be “clean” and still be funny. Takes more talent.)


I live a pretty PG life; I guess my writing reflects that.


As far as language goes, I think making certain words taboo is pretty stupid, be they vulgarities or racial epitaphs or whatever. (I’m working to rectify question 18, here.) As I don’t imbue “swear words” with special significance, I tend to only use them when they are appropriate—which is to say, rarely.


20. Parting from humor for a moment, you are talking about venturing into mystery writing. Why’d you choose that genre? (nothing against it, of course, I’m just curious how you came to choose that.)


A good mystery story is like a good joke: you set it up and then deliver a surprising punchline.


21. Obviously, you are a great writer, and I don’t mean this as any sort of criticism, but what do you think you could do to improve your writing? Do you ever look back on your past stuff and say, “Yeah, that was a good idea, but I’d have done it totally differently now.”?


I know you’re being kind, but I am nowhere near a great writer.


In his book On Writing Stephen King says “While it is impossible to make a competent writer out of a bad writer, and while it is equally impossible to make a great writer out of a good one, it is possible, with lots of hard work, dedication, and timely help, to make a good writer out of a merely competent one.” I feel I am a competent writer, and might possibly become a good writer someday, if I ever get around to the whole “hard work/dedication” thing. Posting humorous observations about yogurt to a blog doesn’t count, apparently.


One thing I am getting better at is eliminating unneeded words. But I still have a long ways to go. Look at the phrase “might possibly become a good writer someday,” above. Did I really need the “possibly?”



Thank you, Matthew! And in case you were wondering about that crime fighting thing, here is a shot of him in action. He is a brave man.

Posted by Jon on 04/04/07 at 12:02 AM
  1. I think “your theory sucks” makes a fine takeaway.

    Posted by Radioactive Jam  on  04/04/07  at  07:24 PM
  2. I read on his blog that you did the interview. Good job!!

    Posted by Sirdar  on  04/04/07  at  10:05 PM
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