Thursday, May 22, 2008

Math is Hard!

Possibly the worst thing to come out of this nasty primary fight in the Democratic party is that the Clinton campaign has reinforced the notion that girls (OK, women) can’t do math.

As of this moment Senator Clinton is saying she’s ahead in the popular vote in the Democratic primaries. This is insane, of course, but no one wants to argue with a crazy person.

It’s a bit convoluted, but here’s how she gets there:

• Florida votes count.


• Michigan votes count.


• States with caucuses do NOT count.


• Super Delegate defections do NOT count. (they are dead to her, anyway)


• West Virginia and Kentucky votes count TWICE.


• Votes from “African-American” states count 3/5.


• Votes from crazy ladies with 57 cats count as 58 votes for Clinton.


• “Big" states ballots are “bigger” and thus crowd out the “smaller” ballots of the “smaller” states.


• She loaned her campaign 10 million votes from her Senate landslide of 2000.


• She also gets all the votes left over from the Dukakis campaign of 1988.


• Votes cast in the latest American Idol automatically go to her.


• Most importantly, all the monkeys that fly out people’s butts at the thought of her as the nominee are counted as votes for her

No need even to vote anymore obviously. She has this thing wrapped up on simple logic anyway!

1. Bwahahahahaha!
   American Idol...bwahahahaha!
   Oh.my.
   That just hurts.
   stop.
   no, really...stop.

   Posted by OMSH  on  05/22/08  at  09:04 AM

2. LOL. this is hysterical!!!!!!!

   off her rocker
   lost her marbles
   a few eggs short of a dozen

   did you read the Field piece today? you should.

   http://ruralvotes.com/thefield/?p=1248

   Posted by olivia  on  05/22/08  at  09:44 AM

3. Hahahahahahaha.. haha… hahahahaha… BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!

   Posted by Ara Pehlivanian  on  05/22/08  at  09:45 AM

4. I just choked on my afternoon snack. Awesome. Especially the 58 cats part.

   Posted by Aimee Greeblemonkey  on  06/03/08  at  02:38 PM

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