Monday, September 08, 2008

Look Back in Bewilderment

Fixate on this for a moment.

The Love Boat ran on TV for TEN seasons. Ten. Freaking. Years.

I’m not even sure I can wrap my head around how it must have been for the writers (and producers, directors, actors, etc.) in the last year or so of that show. The main cast was all but gone, they’d run through almost every conceivable plot line and quality had obviously not been seen in the building since the late 70s. It must have been hell.

Producer #1: We got picked up for another season!

Producer #2: You have GOT to be kidding me. This must be how Faust felt as his contract came due. You’re serious?

Producer #1: Yep. I just got off the phone with my agent. We are on for another year. I can’t believe it either.

Producer #2: But all of the major stars are gone! Sure, Gavin is still here, he doesn’t have anything better to do, but we offered Fred a wheelbarrow full of money and he’s not coming back. Says he wants to run for Congress or something. Whatever. And Ted is sick and tired of being the happy, hippy black bartender. He’s not coming back even if we let him captain the ship.

Producer #1: Really, he didn’t go for the “Captain Stubbing is down, call Isaac plot line!”?

Producer #2: No chance.

Producer #1: What about Charo? What if we got her a gig as the new Cruise Director?

Producer #2: No go. The cuchi-cuchi boat has sailed.

Producer #1: Well, I’m totally stuck. I’m not sure there is enough coke in Columbia to get me through this season. What the hell are we going to write? We’ve done everything!

Producer #2: I know. What about another Jimmie Walker as a ghost episode? That killed!

Producer #1: Not gonna do that. I had to choke back my spleen on that one. I can’t do it.

Producer #2: OK. I just got off the phone with my agent. We are getting killed as soon as they can find a mid-season replacement for us. So it’ll be like three episodes, plus a Christmas special.

Producer #1: Screw that. We’ll do two and stretch the Christmas one out as a two-parter.

Producer #2: Excellent plan. Oh, thank you, sweet release of death.

On a personal note, I used to watch this show RELIGIOUSLY as a boy. I had a huge boyhood crush on Lauren Tewes and when she left the show, I was CRUSHED. Also, if you spend even ten wasted minutes perusing the cast lists of those ten seasons, you’ll note that it reads like a “who’s who” of TV (and some movie) stars from the late 70s and early 80s. Crazy.

Also, please, DO NOT waste your time perusing the imdb pages for The Love Boat. I like you too much to know that you are wasting your life and time on something like that.

My guess, every TV age will have one of these kinds of shows. Deliciously bad, but appeals to a certain demographic. See Zack and Cody and their moronic Suite Life in 15-20 years.

1. The Zach and Cody show isn’t even close to being in the same league as The Love Boat which was watched by teens, parents, and grandparents.  When it was followed by Fantasy Island… Man! THAT was a quality Saturday night.

   On a personal note, I wanted to be Lauren Tewes (until she had that little blow pro-blem-o).

   I miss that show…

   Posted by Csquaredplus3  on  09/08/08  at  06:50 PM

2. Yeah, I never stayed up to watch Fantasy Island all that much. Frankly, it scared me.

   Remember that Fantasy Island episode where Mr. Rourke fought Satan? Not only did the show pretty much Jump the Shark at that point, but IT FREAKED ME OUT.

   Posted by jon  on  09/08/08  at  08:46 PM

3. You had a crush on Lauren Tewes, but I had her hairdo.

   Posted by califmom  on  09/08/08  at  09:08 PM

4. I used to love to watch the Love Boat. I think I liked all the grown up men in shorts. Rawr. Then, after that, it was Fantasy Island, which was a little scary for me, I must admit. Tattoo still haunts my dreams...in shorts.

   Posted by jenboglass (steenkybee)  on  09/09/08  at  06:48 AM

5. I do remember the horrifying Fantasy Island Satan episode.  I was babysitting - right around the time the commercials were for that creepy movie with the bad guy calling from inside the house.  I almost punctured my eardrums sticking my fingers in while saying, “lalalalalalalalalala”.

   Posted by Csquaredplus3  on  09/10/08  at  07:19 AM

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