Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Lies I Am Not Sorry I’ve Told

You look great in those jeans. [duh.]

I don’t know PowerPoint.

I’m almost out of gas. I can’t take you to the airport tomorrow morning.

I love you.

I don’t know who ate the last of the $_YUMMY_THING_WE_NO_LONGER_HAVE_ANY_MORE_OF [odds are high it was me]

I won’t make a sound.

I was so asleep I didn’t hear the baby crying and I’m sorry you had to get up in the middle of the night. [OK, I do feel bad about this one. Sorry, Re.]

That is a cute baby.

I only had a very small bowl of ice cream.

Yes, please send me a copy of your band’s demo CD.

I’m sorry, I don’t know how to dance, but my friend Mark would love to dance with you.

I’m allergic to tripe.

Sorry, I’ve never read Harry Potter. Is that like Pokemon?

I’ve never voted Republican.

I don’t own DVDs of “Friends.” I don’t watch that kind of low-brow television.

Of course I won’t peek.

No, I won’t write about that and post it on the Internet.

Posted by Jon on 05/20/08 at 12:02 AM

  1. Of course I can drive a stick shift.

    I never got your email.

    I don’t own a cell phone.

    I’ll bring it right back.

    I was born a man.  (I only used that one once though to ditch a really persistent dude.  Didn’t work.)

    Posted by Jenny, Bloggess  on  05/20/08  at  12:32 PM

  2. Remind me to totally ask you if my ass looks fat in my jeans the next time we go to lunch. :)

    Posted by Loralee  on  05/20/08  at  02:08 PM
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Holy Crap! Look at all this STUFF down here. It's awesome!

 

Really, I'm glad you made it down here. Almost no one ever comes down here. I'm like in a freaking dungeon down here. I get lonely. But not you. YOU made it all the way to the end of the page. For this I think I've a little crush on you. I don't know, is "love" to strong a word to use in this situation? Well, if it's not "love," then it's very strong "like." I'm totally in like with you for coming down here. You are awesome. Please love me back! I know, I know, I shouldn't be all needy, it's not attractive at all, but you don't know how it is to be stuck down here. Who scrolls all the way to the end of a page anymore these days? Anyway, thanks for shedding some light down here in the depths. I appreciate it. Shoot me an email and I'll send you a dollar, OK?


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