Monday, July 09, 2007
Fine, I’ll Try and Shed a Few Pounds
Jonah (9) should not be allowed to watch info-mercials. He called me just as I was walking into work the other morning:
“Dad!”
“Hey Jonah, how’s it going?”
“Dad! Dad!” (really, it sounds like he’s going to wet himself, he’s so excited.)
“Yeah?”
“Dad, You HAVE to get this stuff. You take it and it makes it IMPOSSIBLE to gain weight. It’s the BEST!”
“Really?”
“Sheee-YEAH! It’s great. You can’t gain the weight back!”
“So, you think I need this stuff?”
“Totally, Dad. This one guy, he lost a POUND a DAY, Dad!”
“OK, well, thanks, bud, you keep track of that for me, OK?”
“Oh yeah, I will.”
I go and get a bagel and Diet Coke at Boston Deli and as I’m walking back to work, he calls again:
“Dad!”
“Hey, bud! What’s up?”
“Dad, here is the number for that stuff, Dad: 1-800-688-xxxx.”
“OK, well, great, maybe we’ll call later!”
“You have to Dad, this stuff is AMAZING!”
“Thanks, bud, I’ll keep it in mind. Maybe tonight we’ll order it.”
Heaven help us when he gets an email account and starts getting Nigerian 419 Spam. And no lie, I edited OUT him saying “Dad!” about 14 other times.
Holy Crap! Look at all this STUFF down here. It's awesome!
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Really, I'm glad you made it down here. Almost no one ever comes down here. I'm like in a freaking dungeon down here. I get lonely. But not you. YOU made it all the way to the end of the page. For this I think I've a little crush on you. I don't know, is "love" to strong a word to use in this situation? Well, if it's not "love," then it's very strong "like." I'm totally in like with you for coming down here. You are awesome. Please love me back! I know, I know, I shouldn't be all needy, it's not attractive at all, but you don't know how it is to be stuck down here. Who scrolls all the way to the end of a page anymore these days? Anyway, thanks for shedding some light down here in the depths. I appreciate it. Shoot me an email and I'll send you a dollar, OK?
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