Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Edited

My birthday is in a couple weeks.

I’ll be 41.

In the words of the great HOGD-MAN:

THAT IS ALL.


*EDITED TO ADD: Specifically, it’s the 10th of June.

** EDITED TO ADD: In lieu of presents, I’d like someone to kick George Lucas in the gonads. Hard.

*** EDITED TO ADD: As a measure of my youth and vitality, my face has decided that I am still 17 and sprouted a veritable forest of acne.

† EDITED TO ADD: Well, it’s not so much a forest as it is one really large, painful and prominent zit.

‡ EDITED TO ADD: It’s on my nose.

†† EDITED TO ADD: Anyway, my point is that though my pores may disagree, I’m not really that stressed about turning 41. A few months after I turned 40, I went through a small, though major and relatively traumatic mental freak-out as I looked back over my life and realized that though my years on earth are probably over halfway spent, I haven’t done anything I considered particularly meaningful, was generally grumpy about how certain things had turned out and a few lingering issues from my youthful upbringing burbled their way up into my awareness. No big deal really, just your standard mid life crisis fodder, though with the added kicker of my having utterly ignored all that stuff over the years and my general disinclination toward self-examination or self-assessment. Denial is not just a river in Egypt, kids. Therapy sucks, though it’s amazingly helpful. And that’s probably all I’ll have to say about that.

‡‡ EDITED TO ADD: Seriously, this zit is taking up half my face now. I have a small mirror here at my desk and it’d be safe to describe this situation as “more zit than nose.”

§ EDITED TO ADD: It’s growing larger. It’s moved beyond my face, is the size of Montana, will soon gain sentience and stride the Earth, raining death and destruction down upon on a cowering mankind. Run for the hills and take cover!

§§ EDITED TO ADD: Tell my family I love them! I go now to a better, hopefully less immensely large zit-filled afterlife.

§§§ EDITED TO ADD: Have a nice day.

1. Dammit, Jon! I already published two posts today and you’ve gone and written something so damn funny I am going to post a THIRD to link to you and your zit.

   I think that you should buy me lunch.  You know, for all the inconvenience. Actually, you should buy Sarah lunch, too.  Because she reads my blog.

   (Since it’s your birthday, we will totally let you choose a restaurant that will put a sombrero on your head and sing to you while line dancing if you want.)

   Posted by Loralee  on  05/27/08  at  11:53 AM

2. Happy Birthday to you and your zit.
   Maybe it will have its own cake?

   Posted by witchypoo  on  05/27/08  at  12:15 PM

3. My WORD you are funny Jon.

   Happy Birthday to you!

   Posted by Angella  on  05/27/08  at  12:39 PM

4. Happy Birthday to you, your zit, and me. I turn 45 on . . . June 10!

   Posted by Kevin T.  on  05/27/08  at  12:55 PM

5. Well, it’s good to hear that you’re at peace with turning OLD in the near future…

   ;-)

   Posted by rkimedes  on  05/27/08  at  01:27 PM

6. And by the way, Google Ads totally mock your pain.  The ads I see right now are for (in order):
   1. Pimples? Zits?
   Top 5 Acne Treatments Revealed… Be Acne Free in 72 Hours Guaranteed
   2. I Healed My Acne Scars
   Learn How I Removed My Acne Scars Using a Powerful Natural Solution
   3. Skin Rash Photos
   Have A Questionable Skin Rash? Find Information and Pictures Now! 
   4. Skin Rash Photos
   Find Treatments, Resources and Information On Skin Rashes.
   5. Cystic Acne Treatment
   Having Cystic Acne Problems? Discover Amazing Acne Solutions.

   Apparently Google agrees that the thing on your nose is Just Not Right.

   Posted by rkimedes  on  05/27/08  at  01:33 PM

7. funny stuff.  loralee said it was funny and she is right!  i am approaching 39, and my face is doing the same thing lately.  not a big fan of my youthful good looks these days!

   Posted by natalie  on  05/27/08  at  02:04 PM

8. Isn’t the bigger problem the day *before* the 10th, o my father?
   Come on, man. You’ve been ranting about your mental break down from that for months now.

   Posted by Carrie  on  05/27/08  at  02:07 PM

9. It’s true, Carrie’s birthday (comment #8) is on June 9 and of course, I am MUCH more concerned with her turning 18 than I am about my turning 41.

   Trust me on that one.

   Posted by Jon  on  05/27/08  at  02:17 PM

10. Happy Birthday to you and your zit covered nose (would that I could see the nose but for the zit!)

    Posted by pam  on  05/27/08  at  02:23 PM

11. That was very amusing.  And I’m to tell you and your zit “hi” from Loralee.

    Posted by Camille  on  05/27/08  at  09:15 PM

12. Happy Birthday!

    It could be worse. You could be me...43...with the occasional whopper of a zit....

    ...and already have THREE Grandkids!

    Adore those kiddos, but HOLY SHIT!!

    Posted by Kristi  on  05/27/08  at  09:26 PM

13. I woke up with a big old zit on my knee this morning.  So big it made it kinda hard to bend my leg.  So, I’m laying in bed thinking: dang I’m 40 and getting knee zits.  This sucks. ‘Cept the thing of it is, I’m not really 40. I’m 39.  When I turned 39 I didn’t care about turning 40 in a year, but I wasn’t real thrilled about waiting around for a year for it to happen. I declared my self 40 right there on the spot. Now if I could just declare away knee zits life would be wonderful, or at least slightly less sucky. 

    Happy upcoming birthdays to the Deals!

    Posted by michael  on  05/27/08  at  10:58 PM

14. This is crazy! You are having acne at 41? It appears that your body doesn’t think you are 41 and thinks you are still teen ager. Which is not bad actually :)

    Posted by acne treatment  on  05/27/08  at  11:45 PM

15. My birthday is the 16th of June.  I’ll be 36.  No, that doesn’t make you old, but it does make me young(er).

    And?

    I too have two new zits.
    What gives?

    I’m blaming it on all the Fruity Pebbles my kids make me eat.

    Posted by OMSH  on  05/28/08  at  08:42 PM

16. Ahhahaha!  Sorry- not laughing at your zit.  :)

    Posted by 180/360  on  06/01/08  at  10:39 PM

17. one large, painful and prominent zit almost covering the whole face? thats one hell of a zit.

    Posted by acne treatment reviews  on  06/03/08  at  10:01 AM

18. Well, it’s good to hear that you’re at peace with turning OLD in the near future…

    Posted by Toronto Lofts  on  06/05/08  at  06:20 PM

19. Nice edition!

    Posted by Abaddon  on  06/05/08  at  08:57 PM

20. strange, i do not see any skin care ads there now. i guess it changes over time

    Posted by tanning lotions  on  06/17/08  at  02:11 AM

Commenting is not available in this weblog entry.

Holy Crap! Look at all this STUFF down here. It's awesome!

 

Really, I'm glad you made it down here. Almost no one ever comes down here. I'm like in a freaking dungeon down here. I get lonely. But not you. YOU made it all the way to the end of the page. For this I think I've a little crush on you. I don't know, is "love" to strong a word to use in this situation? Well, if it's not "love," then it's very strong "like." I'm totally in like with you for coming down here. You are awesome. Please love me back! I know, I know, I shouldn't be all needy, it's not attractive at all, but you don't know how it is to be stuck down here. Who scrolls all the way to the end of a page anymore these days? Anyway, thanks for shedding some light down here in the depths. I appreciate it. Shoot me an email and I'll send you a dollar, OK?

©2005-2010 Jon B. Deal All Rights Reserved. All comments belong to the respective commenters.