Monday, August 21, 2006

Comp Lit

We went out to dinner last Saturday night. No big deal. Except that I spilled my Diet Coke everywhere and when I got a new glass, our server gave me a cup with a lid. Nice.

We have the *best* dinner conversations in our family. Carrie started the ball rolling by asking us a series of questions. Given the following choices, which would you choose?

• Would you rather die by drowning or by fire? (Consensus: Die in a Fire!)
• Would you rather have all of your teeth pulled or have one of your limbs chopped off? All without anesthetic. (Consensus: Ouch!)
• Would you rather walk ten miles in hot sun or eat a raw steak? (Everyone but Carrie and Reha (vegetarian and semi-veg, respectively) choose the hot sun. My choice was influenced by my very difficult 16 (OK, fine, 12.5) mile run that day)
• Would you rather eat cooked onions or raw grapes? (This was just for Lucas, who can’t stand either one. He chose grapes.)
• Would you rather substitute teach an eighth grade sex ed class for a week or listen to Dad sing for 90 minutes? (I’m hurt and offended, but not surprised. Most of the family asked what I’d be singing before making their choice. (They all chose sex ed class for pubescents) Boo, family, boo.)
• For the ladies: Would you rather smell like period or fart forever? (Menses, since it’s probably not too overpowering)
• Would you rather have the sensation of water up your nose or have you foot “waking up” and all pins and needly forever? (Split decision between the two, as I recall)
• Again, for Lucas: Would you rather go the first day of seventh grade wearing a bra (no other top, but normal pants) or get kicked *hard* in the gonads? (He chose the tender vittles option. It was probably wrong of me to kick him right there in the TGIFridays, huh?)
• For Reha, who has a thing about bad smells: Would you rather be trapped in an elevator sized room for four hours with grungy, smelly body odor-full hippies or the same dinky sized room full of urine-soaked old people? (And the old people win!)
• Again, for the ladies: Would you rather show up at school/work topless or bottomless? (Topless, easier to cover, apparently)
• Would you rather go to the dentist have a a root canal/some other procedure (with anesthesia), or have a prostate or pelvic exam (depending on anatomy, of course)? (Reha chose the pelvic, Carrie the dentist, Lucas (who doesn’t know any better), the dentist and I chose the dentist as well. (The dentist is basically all about the numbing shot and that’s over pretty quickly, but the prostate check… why that feels like it lasts *forever*)
• No one asked me this, but for me: would you rather use Windows 98 for the rest of your life or get the Electric Chair? (My answer: Where do you plug this thing in? Shouldn’t we hose me down before you throw the switch?)

There were also a *lot* of gross “would you rather eat disgusting thing X or nasty thing Y?” but I’ll spare you those details, dear readers.

1. You know, some places offer raw steak as a delicacy.

   Not ones I eat in...but still.

   Posted by Jenny  on  08/22/06  at  04:21 PM

2. Totally true. I thought about the steak tartare thing when the question came up, but then got grossed out. Raw cow.

   ick.

   Posted by jon  on  08/22/06  at  04:48 PM

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