Thursday, January 11, 2007

Alpha-Geek Does Not Mean Boy Genius

At work, I’m the Alpha Geek. They guy who has all the answers as far as computers go. That’s demonstrably NOT true, since I currently can’t track down a memory leaking app on my Mac Pro right now, but I do tend to know a whole lot of stuff about how computers and specifically about how Mac computers work. Comes from not dating much in high school and an unhealthy obsession with technology and Macs in particular. People ask me tech support type questions ranging from “why did my Adobe Illustrator unexpectedly quit?” to “why is the Internet faster downstairs?” The answer to those questions is: “Could be that you have 2763 fonts open” and “I’m doubtful about that,” since everyone is on the same switch and speed on the internet is totally subjective, mostly.

But I get asked about all sorts of things, because being the SysAdmin means you know everything, apparently. True, I sometimes know the answer to esoteric Mac and technology questions (What processor was in the Quadra 840AV? Easy one! Motorola 68040 which ran at 40 MHz, plus it had a cool DSP chip to offload voice synthesis stuff. Which never really took off. Sad.)

Anyway.

Sometimes I don’t know the answer. And people get bugged. Seriously. They are annoyed with me because I don’t know something. They aren’t annoyed that *they* don’t know the answer right off, but it’s a national tragedy if I don’t immediately know what the deal-io is.

So herewith is a small list of the MANY things that I know next to NOTHING about. In particular, these are things that plug in that I don’t really understand:

Technically, the Prius doesn’t doesn’t plug in, but I do not know how it’s braking-into-energy thing works.

So, if you need answers to those questions, go someplace else. I’ll do my best, but I can’t know everything. Especially the Windows ME thing. Ugh.

Posted by Jon on 01/11/07 at 05:57 PM
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Holy Crap! Look at all this STUFF down here. It's awesome!

 

Really, I'm glad you made it down here. Almost no one ever comes down here. I'm like in a freaking dungeon down here. I get lonely. But not you. YOU made it all the way to the end of the page. For this I think I've a little crush on you. I don't know, is "love" to strong a word to use in this situation? Well, if it's not "love," then it's very strong "like." I'm totally in like with you for coming down here. You are awesome. Please love me back! I know, I know, I shouldn't be all needy, it's not attractive at all, but you don't know how it is to be stuck down here. Who scrolls all the way to the end of a page anymore these days? Anyway, thanks for shedding some light down here in the depths. I appreciate it. Shoot me an email and I'll send you a dollar, OK?


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