Wednesday, April 25, 2007

But There is NO Expiration Date

Yesterday was Reha’s birthday. She turned a number greater than 25, but less than 40. Crazy thing is that though she’s closer to the 40 number, she can still pass for 25. Really!

Small preface here. I know EXACTLY the date of my wife’s birthday. I have NEVER forgotten that date. It’s the day before Italy’s Liberation Day. Duh. I’d never forget that day. “Viva la Liberazione!” Sometimes the date kind of sneaks up on me and catches me unprepared, but I NEVER forget the date. Carry on.

IMPORTANT SAFETY TIP!

When you work a long day and haven’t really planned on a birthday present and when you ask her what she wants, she says, “Oh, I don’t want any presents!” and you can’t really see anything that she desperately needs, and the kids are totally clueless; resorting to giving her a hand scrawled coupon “Good for one FREE hour of ‘Jon-Love’” is never the right solution.

I should have known, because the coupon I gave her last year went unused.

Favorite Entries

If you are new around here, the following entries have been reasonably well received. You might want to peruse these.

• Help Wanted
• From the Office of Mis-directed Email
• A Word from the Small Person in the House
• RNT Product Review: Chocolate Mix Skittles Left Me Sterile!
• Jon’s Report Card circa… A Long Time Ago
• Dear Gratuitously Naked Conversationalist at the Gym:
• A Peek Inside the Writer’s Guild and Producers’ Negotiations
• We Regret the Error
• Letters from a Homeowner to His General Contractor
• What I Did There
• Hermaphrodite Administrative Assistants and Receptionists Need Not Apply
• Giving Me an IM Account Was Obviously a Huge Mistake
• Official Ransom Note Typography Vista vs. Mac OS X Shootout
• I Need a Real Hobby
• Beat Down
• Big Fat Lies
• True Love
• Now MY Ovaries Hurt
• Don’t Get Her Started
• Disturbing Trend
• Had to do it
• Mooshy stuff
• Ransom Note Typography End User License Agreement “EULA”
• Diva-licious!
• Just so we’re clear
• PETA may have a point

Holy Crap! Look at all this STUFF down here. It's awesome!

Really, I'm glad you made it down here. Almost no one ever comes down here. I'm like in a freaking dungeon down here. I get lonely. But not you. YOU made it all the way to the end of the page. For this I think I've a little crush on you. I don't know, is "love" to strong a word to use in this situation? Well, if it's not "love," then it's very strong "like." I'm totally in like with you for coming down here. You are awesome. Please love me back! I know, I know, I shouldn't be all needy, it's not attractive at all, but you don't know how it is to be stuck down here. Who scrolls all the way to the end of a page anymore these days? Anyway, thanks for shedding some light down here in the depths. I appreciate it. Shoot me an email and I'll send you a dollar, OK?

©2005-2008 Jon B. Deal All Rights Reserved. I'm not kidding around here, I know people who know other people who would be willing to beat you up or similarly infringe on your rights, should you happen to infringe on my rights.