Wednesday, April 23, 2008

A Word from the Small Person in the House

[Today’s Special Guest Poster is my youngest daughter Ellis (5). Pretty sure she’s making some of this stuff up.

I like to color. I like to play with my toys. My favorite toy is my princess cash register.

My big brother Lucas is fun and friendly and he needs a haircut or he won’t look cool.

My big brother Jonah likes to play with Legos. He’s kind of funny and is like a monkey.

My big sister Carrie was in a play. I wasn’t allowed to see it because it was too scary for me. During Spring Break she took care of me. We went out to lunch with her friend Autumn.

My mom did the marathon and she runs a lot and she likes to play games and she likes my pictures. The ones that I draw. She’s funny and makes little funny jokes like, “Why did the meatball roll down the house? Because he thought it would be fun, but he fell down and he hit his head and he went in the dirt and then he grew a bush and that had meatballs on it.”

I like to play princesses with my dress ups. My favorite movie is Mariposa and my favorite book is “The Secret Mermaid Handbook.” I go to school and I don’t like nap time and I like to sing and play with my friends. I like to read at school. Tonight my mom gave me a haircut and now I have nice bangs. My mom took me to see Disney Princesses on Ice and it was FUN! I liked it when Cinderella was in a carriage on ice. She had no horses. And when the dragon came out in the Sleeping Beauty part. He blowed out fire [sic.] and lit the ice on fire.

My Daddy is silly and he was sick over the weekend. He is not cute. He has an iPhone and it’s cool because you can touch the screen and watch Harry Potter Puppet Pals on it.

That’s all I have to say and can we be done now?

Favorite Entries

If you are new around here, the following entries have been reasonably well received. You might want to peruse these.

• Partners
• Correspondence
• Help Wanted
• From the Office of Mis-directed Email
• A Word from the Small Person in the House
• RNT Product Review: Chocolate Mix Skittles Left Me Sterile!
• Jon’s Report Card circa… A Long Time Ago
• Dear Gratuitously Naked Conversationalist at the Gym:
• A Peek Inside the Writer’s Guild and Producers’ Negotiations
• We Regret the Error
• Letters from a Homeowner to His General Contractor
• What I Did There
• Hermaphrodite Administrative Assistants and Receptionists Need Not Apply
• Giving Me an IM Account Was Obviously a Huge Mistake
• Official Ransom Note Typography Vista vs. Mac OS X Shootout
• I Need a Real Hobby
• Beat Down
• Big Fat Lies
• True Love
• Now MY Ovaries Hurt
• Don’t Get Her Started
• Disturbing Trend
• Had to do it
• Mooshy stuff
• Ransom Note Typography End User License Agreement “EULA”
• Diva-licious!
• Just so we’re clear
• PETA may have a point

Holy Crap! Look at all this STUFF down here. It's awesome!

Really, I'm glad you made it down here. Almost no one ever comes down here. I'm like in a freaking dungeon down here. I get lonely. But not you. YOU made it all the way to the end of the page. For this I think I've a little crush on you. I don't know, is "love" to strong a word to use in this situation? Well, if it's not "love," then it's very strong "like." I'm totally in like with you for coming down here. You are awesome. Please love me back! I know, I know, I shouldn't be all needy, it's not attractive at all, but you don't know how it is to be stuck down here. Who scrolls all the way to the end of a page anymore these days? Anyway, thanks for shedding some light down here in the depths. I appreciate it. Shoot me an email and I'll send you a dollar, OK?

©2005-2009 Jon B. Deal All Rights Reserved. I'm not kidding around here, I know people who know other people who would be willing to beat you up or similarly infringe on your rights, should you happen to infringe on my rights.