Friday, April 11, 2008

Birth and Death of a Meme

Earlier this week Flickr added the ability to add video.

This is apparently the end of the world for some people on flickr. These are the people who should not be allowed to have sharp objects, in my esteemed opinion.

Naturally, the Internet agrees and the mocking commenced.

It spread to twitter this morning.

These are just of few of the gems I was able to collect. Thanks to Tweet Scan and the fact that I follow a lot of clever people.

They are not in any sort of chronological order, because sadly, I am not that clever.

	Flickr video STILL supports the Vichy Regime. Merlin Mann
	Flickr video stormed my village. All forced to work in the diamond mines. My son, a child soldier. Wife, I don't know. Fuck you flickr video SeoulBrother
	Flickr video made rockstarmommy stop blogging cazbag
	Flickr video gave the dog chocolate. bucky4eyes
	Flickr video was on the grassy knoll. Merlin Mann
	Flickr video is the heavy chain link lock wrapped tightly through the spokes of my new bicycle. John Moltz
	Flickr Video is sitting in an unmarked van right outside your daughter's high school. Mike Monteiro
	Flickr video fed me spoiled lunch meat AND bad shellfish. Velma Smeddling
	Flickr video invaded Tibet. John Moltz
	Flickr video put baby in the corner Jon Deal
	Flickr video takes that frown and turns it upside down, but then turns it upside down again, back into a frown, and kicks you in the groin John Moltz
	Flickr video is voting for Hillary. Angela
	Flickr video Rick Rolled you. David Herrold
	Flickr video acts like it's never even heard of a courtesy flush. Merlin Mann
	Flickr video keyed your car. Torrie
	My cat coughed up some Flickr video this morning Andrew Crow
	Flickr video voted for the $87 billion before Flickr video voted against it. Mike Carvalho
	Flickr video made sure my kid was sick enough not to go to school, but not sick enough to stop driving me nuts. Alice Bradley
	Flickr video think you look more like your Dad each day Dan Harrelson
	Flickr video pooped his diaper. No, wait...that was my son. Miguelina
	Flickr video told Fox executives to cancel Firefly. Jon Deal
	flickr video made baby jesus cry Ben Fullerton
	If Flickr video wins, the terrorists win. Jon Deal
	GOOD MORNING NERDS! Stoked for the wknd? I was, until Flickr Video told me that, aahh, he's going to need me to come in on Saturday, yeahhh. Ryan MF
	Flickr video does jobs for Tonya Harding Joel Dueck
	flickr video contains partially hydrogenated oil James Britton
	flickr video threw me out of the van and didn't pay me. SeoulBrother
	Flickr video is a skidoo that flips over on the frozen tundra, pinning you under its weight. At night, the ice weasels come. Gord Fynes
	Flickr video took my manhood away! Am now "hung like an elevator button." End Flickr video NOW! Jon Deal
	Flickr video slept with my sister. Schmutzie
	Flickr video dry humped my girlfriend to REO Speedwagon's I Can't Fight This Feeling. mihow
	Flickr video totally trashed your stylin' new tactical Internet pants John Moltz
	Flickr Video founded L. Ron Hubbard on a bet. Remiel
	Flickr video is still cleaning up after the Exxon Valdez incident. Grant Hutchinson
	Flickr video kidnapped Cute Tuesday Boy . . . and Kim Bauer. Rachel S.
	Flickr video slept with your ex, again. Bill DeRouchey
	Flickr video keeps asking me for a quarter when I pass it on the street. What does it think it can buy for 25 cents anyway? Mike McCaffrey
	Flickr video drank your last beer. Merlin Mann
	Flickr video "accidentally" submits your pictures from junior prom to hotornot.com Dan Harrelson
	[the late Charlton Heston] FLICKR VIDEO IS MADE OF PEOPLE! [/the late Charlton Heston] John Moltz
	Flickr video ate my baby. Surgilicious
	And finally, this should be the end of it all:
	Yes, people use humor to cope, but after all that's happened, couldn't we stop with the Flickr video jokes? Some of us aren't ready to laugh Rachel

I know I missed a bunch, but I got tired of cutting and pasting and didn't want to start futzing around with the API. Plus, you know... real life and stuff.

Feel free to email me any you think should be added.

It was fun while it lasted.

Now please stop, and this is why.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

I May Have Been Asked to Leave

They are filming a movie right next door today at work.

Look! Movie stuff!

Catering! Though apparently, you are NOT allowed to just walk up and snag a tasty treat. You actually have to be a part of the movie cast or crew. “People who only work in the basement next door to the location and wander by” are not allowed to have doughnuts. Some kind of union thing, I guess.

The little tent thing where the Production Designer and Someone Else Important sit.

Couple things to remember when you are next door to a movie being filmed:

1. It is NOT ok to give camera angle tips to the director during filming


2. No matter how much you love Flight of the Conchords, it’s inappropriate to shout “It’s BUSINESS TIME!” to Jemaine while he’s working


3. Flash photography is not welcome


4. If you throw your unfinished screenplay at the Executive Producer and PURELY BY ACCIDENT hit her in the eye, it is poor form to ask her to clean the blood off it when she shoves it back at you


5. Movie stars are people too, and they should be left alone while they pee. And Sam, (I call him Sam, since we’re buds now), has a very shy bladder.


6. Nude scenes aren’t as interesting to watch as you’d think

OK, truth be told, I don’t even know who is on set today or what is going on over there.

I have about a ZILLION things to do today, but I will try and see if can sneak out and grab a few more shots.

Monday, April 07, 2008

The Intern at Work is Not Going to Be Hired On

I sit next to the “intern station” at work.

Makes me a little nutso.

Not just because I can’t remember any of their names.

I don’t want to give the detailed saga of one particular intern, but I do want to share the highlights. He’s gone now and won’t be coming back, so I feel OK about sharing a few salient details.

• He hummed while he listened to his iPod


• Loudly


• And constantly


• My fancy-pants noise canceling headphones, DID NOTHING


• May be a drug dealer. Lots of conversations on his cell that ended with his talking about “taking delivery” and “good stuff, man.”


• Made pattern files in Illustrator that had over 75,000 points and then complained loudly when they wouldn’t print [Trust me, he made INSANELY complicated pieces of art, Photoshop even choked on rasterizing them.]


• An overabundance of flatulence


• I can understand a one time “slip,” but I began to worry about his digestive tract, frankly


• Unplugged the server from the ‘net so he could plug in his laptop


• Sang Rush songs. This was bad a couple levels: A) I like Rush (Shut UP!) and he sullied them, B) his falsetto of Geddy broke my favorite mug.


• Loud conversations on his cell phone with his girlfriend, “Well, just keep trying to shove it in there. It fit last time I used it.” Unclear about “it” and I lived in fear that he’d tell me.


• The “muscle” shirts


• He hoarded toilet paper and I saw him walking out of the studio with a 12 pack stuffed into his bag


• He ate smelly food


• At his desk


• That smell won’t come out of the keyboard now


• Spandex Thursdays


• I’m not even going to go into the kinds of things I found in his workstation’s web history. You know how they say you can find a kink for everything on the web? Yeah, he found them all. Dude, Safari has “Private Browsing” for a reason, man.


• He showed up at my house late one night in a trench coat, scuba gear and a jug of olive oil

I may have made that last one up out of whole cloth.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

The Police State

Last night as I was tucking Ellis in for bed, she whispered to me, “Daddy, when Mommy comes home, I’m telling on you.”

I stopped dead in the middle of pulling up the covers, “Um, Ellis, what are you going to tell on me for?”

“I’m tired now, but you are going to be in trouble when I tell Mommy.”

Couple points of order.

A) She’s got nothing on me.

B) I don’t get “in trouble” from my spouse. She is not my mother. Nor is she my caretaker. We are equal partners and adults. I am NOT afraid of her.

OK, I’m a little afraid of her. She can be scary as all get out when she goes into full blown “lawyer” mode and has the Wrath of the Law on her side. But I’ve seen her nekkid and stuff, so I have that on my side. Also, I can always threaten to tell her birthing stories here.

Ellis is on this huge power trip of late where she likes (loves) to get people in trouble. Mostly her older siblings.

“Jonah touched me with his foot.”

“Lucas won’t play dress up with me.”

“Carrie is looking at me.”

This is what I imagine living with Dick Cheney might be like. You always have to be on your guard or the short, but adorably cute equivalent of stasi will come barreling around the corner and rat you out to Higher Ups.

My favorite way to deal with this is to ask her, “Really, Ellis? He’s touched you with his feet? This. Is. Horrible. What do you want me to do about it? I can cut Jonah’s feet off if you want.”

I’m just afraid that one day, I’ll say that and she’ll hand me a knife.

And, in Lucas’ defense, not many 13-almost-14 year old boys would want to play dress up.

I’d play, but Ellis won’t let me wear the princess tiara.

A Sport I Could Get Behind

 

Novus

Proximus

 

Favorite Entries

If you are new around here, the following entries have been reasonably well received. You might want to peruse these.

• Partners
• Correspondence
• Help Wanted
• From the Office of Mis-directed Email
• A Word from the Small Person in the House
• RNT Product Review: Chocolate Mix Skittles Left Me Sterile!
• Jon’s Report Card circa… A Long Time Ago
• Dear Gratuitously Naked Conversationalist at the Gym:
• A Peek Inside the Writer’s Guild and Producers’ Negotiations
• We Regret the Error
• Letters from a Homeowner to His General Contractor
• What I Did There
• Hermaphrodite Administrative Assistants and Receptionists Need Not Apply
• Giving Me an IM Account Was Obviously a Huge Mistake
• Official Ransom Note Typography Vista vs. Mac OS X Shootout
• I Need a Real Hobby
• Beat Down
• Big Fat Lies
• True Love
• Now MY Ovaries Hurt
• Don’t Get Her Started
• Disturbing Trend
• Had to do it
• Mooshy stuff
• Ransom Note Typography End User License Agreement “EULA”
• Diva-licious!
• Just so we’re clear
• PETA may have a point

Holy Crap! Look at all this STUFF down here. It's awesome!

Really, I'm glad you made it down here. Almost no one ever comes down here. I'm like in a freaking dungeon down here. I get lonely. But not you. YOU made it all the way to the end of the page. For this I think I've a little crush on you. I don't know, is "love" to strong a word to use in this situation? Well, if it's not "love," then it's very strong "like." I'm totally in like with you for coming down here. You are awesome. Please love me back! I know, I know, I shouldn't be all needy, it's not attractive at all, but you don't know how it is to be stuck down here. Who scrolls all the way to the end of a page anymore these days? Anyway, thanks for shedding some light down here in the depths. I appreciate it. Shoot me an email and I'll send you a dollar, OK?

©2005-2010 Jon B. Deal All Rights Reserved. I'm not kidding around here, I know people who know other people who would be willing to beat you up or similarly infringe on your rights, should you happen to infringe on my rights.