Friday, October 20, 2006

Winter is Coming, RUN for your Lives!

This fall here in Utah hasn’t been the most beautiful I’ve seen since moving here, but it hasn’t been too bad. I’m told by reliable sources that the fall colors (changing of the leaves) is determined by the amount of rain we had in the spring and summer. I have no idea if that true or not, but I generally prefer a more “orange-y” fall to the bright “yellow-y” fall we had this year.

This is the view on the road to my house. Now it’s pretty brown and dead looking, but it was puuurty a couple weeks ago when I took this shot.

We did the Alpine Loop a couple of weeks ago as well. See map below.

I could have played with these images a bit more to bring out the purple-orange-yellow-green explosions of color, but I didn’t want to goof around too much on Photoshop.


Jon scribbled this mess on 10/20/06 at 05:04 AM, best we can tell it fits in the category of Photos Regular Post. This many folks had something to say about that, The permanent home of this entry is here: Link

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

A Small Sample of What I Live With Everyday

Ellis has her hand to her ear, talking on an imaginary phone: (insert a pause between each sentence where she listens to the other party)

“Yeah, I’m on my way to work.”

“My dog is painted, so keep off the dog.”

“How are you doing with the computer? I’m painting the dog.”

“Can you? Because I have to do my work tomorrow.”

“Are you cooking?”

“Are you answering me?”

Then she hung up the “phone.”

For the record: We don’t have a dog, it hasn’t been painted any color and as far as I know, Ellis doesn’t have a job.

I believe my life at home could be be described as living inside a free verse poem. An epic saga that never ends.

Jon scribbled this mess on 10/18/06 at 12:14 AM, best we can tell it fits in the category of Regular Post. This many folks had something to say about that, The permanent home of this entry is here: Link

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Worry Wart

Things that currently make me worried:

1) Jen reads this and shows up at my house demanding an apology.

2) The Democrats snatch defeat from the Jaws of Victory and we have to live with the Republicans being incredibly smug for 2 more years.

3) NBC stops giving Aaron Sorkin blow (or hookers or whatever they are giving him) and he stops writing “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.” Man, I could watch a show where he re-wrote the phone book. He’d make it work, I’m telling you.

4) That someone tells the emo kids at the mall that they look ridiculous and they emo kids believe them, because it’s just too much fun to be waited on my them. And seriously, kids, the black nail polish and the deathly pale powdered faces? They clash with all the crosses you are wearing.

5) Spontaneous human combustion. I know it’s probably just a myth and it seems biologically unlikely (we are mostly made out of nonflammable water after all), but man, that would suck.

6) Coke loses the secret formula for Diet Coke and I’ll be forced to drink like, water or something.

7) Blizzard makes either Diablo III or I somehow get a free month or two subscription to World of Warcraft. I know, I’m supposed to be an adult and all, but I have no willpower about these things, you know.

8) They lawn police come over to my house and ask why I never mowed the back yard lawn all summer. (Not quite true. I mowed it once (twice?) at the beginning of the season).

9) I’m going to start running again this week. Little concerned that I won’t be able to take five steps.

10) That someone buys me a new Mac Book. I think I’d sit right down and cry. And no one wants to see me weep, friends. Please, think of the children! Don’t buy me a new Mac Book! And especially don’t pack it full of RAM and upgrade the HD! I’d be aquiver for weeks!

11) That no one will “get” my Harriet Myers Halloween costume and I’m a little too far behind the curve.

12) That someone finds my “hidden” CD collection and discover that Spin Doctors CD. Heaven help me, I liked that “Two Princes” song.

13) VICE PRESIDENT DOCTOR NIGAWE from Chad doesn’t come through on his payment. Sent him a copy my drivers’ license and accounts numbers and everything.

14) People will continue to call NASCAR a sport. (OK, this isn’t really pressing, but come on! Stomp on gas and turn left does not a sport make, friends)

15) That I admit that I’m playing Edie Brickell and New Bohemians right this very second and I know all the words.

16) That word gets out that I still get kind of worked up about the whole “Han shot first!” thing. Can’t I just let that go? I mean, come on it’s just a freaking movie.

17) That no one EVER tells Kim Jong-il to change his hair style, That pompadour is GOLD, baby! Don’t ever change, ya crazy loon.

Jon scribbled this mess on 10/17/06 at 12:19 AM, best we can tell it fits in the category of Regular Post. This many folks had something to say about that, The permanent home of this entry is here: Link

Monday, October 16, 2006

Because It’s Not Always About ME, Though I Question Why

I realized last night that I hadn’t posted any embarrassing/incriminating/cute photos of the kids in a while. It’s been, “Jon ran the marathon. Jon looked like a dork in High School. Jon showed us pictures of the outside of his fridge. Big whoop.”

Yes, it’s true. ALL the cool kids say, “big whoop” these days. Wait… they don’t? Oh well. More’s the pity, I guess.

Allow me to recitify that situation post-haste.

While cleaning out the cabinets, we found these Saran Wrap™ bowl topping things. We’ve never used them for their intended purpose, that is—keeping leftovers fresh and tasty! But the kids thought they made great hats. I’m not sure if Ellis was the first to jump on the “Let’s put them on our heads” bandwagon. But this is her adujusting her “hat” JUST SO, in order to achieve the maximum amount of humor.

Then she moved on to putting a home made french fry (oh my, how tasty!) in her face and pretending to be a puppy. The boys were merely hangers-on at this point.

I think this is my favorite out of the bunch. That’s Lucas peeking out from behind the wall. You can tell he’s up to no good. Just after this pic was taken he popped out, screamed like a banshee, knocked me down and began stomping on my privates. He’s grounded now. Knocking me down and kicking in my nether regions is fine, but scaring me half to death? Not cool, man. Not cool.

Jon scribbled this mess on 10/16/06 at 08:13 AM, best we can tell it fits in the category of Photos Regular Post. This many folks had something to say about that, The permanent home of this entry is here: Link

Friday, October 13, 2006

The Horror, the Horror, the Horror

First off. Read that title up there. Now whisper it to yourself like Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now.

OK, done that? We can move on.

Digging around in the bottom our of closet last night I found my senior year High School Yearbook. I know, you are cringing, but the comedic value of this sort of thing is far too good to let go.

Behold… THE COVER. What delights await us inside? The mind boggles. {cue dramatic music..}

So here’s my “Senior Portrait” which is just so laughable as to almost not be funny. They gathered all the seniors into the band room, seperated the boys from the girls and made us change our top half into a tux or this atrocious fluffly thing, depending on your gender. So I had on jeans and a tux. How cool is that? The other thing about the photo is that they asked us to name our favorite song and that would be displayed FOR ALL TIME and FOR HISTORY under our mug shot. A not insignificant portion of my class chose “Darling Nikki” by Prince, because that was SO subversive.

If you recall the song from the Purple Rain soundtrack, The Artist speaks of a lady who engages in, shall we say, self-gratification with the assitance of some reading material. Google if you like

Since I had no designs on being subversive (those desires didn’t come out until my twenties and I had kids, yay for me!), I went with a song which, though I do enjoy quite a bit, even to this day, kind of brands me a dork. Yes, it’s a Rush song, like you really, really had to ask.

Bah… enough… here’s the photo. The thumbnail is über-dinky, so you can get the full effect when it pops and is livin’ large on your screen.

One or two more words, now that you have presumably basked in my glory. They took that photo in the fall. In the proceeding summer, I had been in a car accident and I had lost about fifty pounds, after bouncing in and out of the hospital for three months. The other thing you should note is that by the time that photo was taken, I’d gained weight back. Sad, huh? Combine my Skeletor-like appearance with my geek-itude, it’s no wonder I didn’t date much in High School.

Well, now that that’s over with, can I go on and start mocking people? Yes? Thanks, I think I will.

I really did not like these three girls. And not just because I’d never be able to date them. But now at least I can say, “My heavenly stars! Look at that blue eye shadow Paige is sporting! Why did her mother let her out of the house that day?” And, please note that Jennifer chose a Chicago song as her favorite song. And not even GOOD Chicago, but one from the sappy Peter Cetera era.

OK, one more and then I’ll stop.

Pay particular attention to the girl in the middle. Gilda. She was our drum majorette, student band leader, or whatever that job was. And look at the LEDGE of feathered hair above her forehead. You could land a plane on that thing sometimes. And it would poke out of her band helmet thing I think, just so the local traffic helicopters would have a place to land.

OK. I’m done. I’m done. I’M DONE.

Except one more. Just for fun. Here’s the former unrequieted love of my life, Alison.

I showed the pic to Reha last night and remarked, “You know, I’m not really attracted to her anymore. She just doesn’t do it for me anymore.”

Reha replied that was probably a good thing. I shouldn’t be attracted to sixteen year old girls anymore.

Good point.

Special thanks (or blame) to Suburbia @ Large for the inspiration.

Jon scribbled this mess on 10/13/06 at 01:22 AM, best we can tell it fits in the category of Photos Regular Post. This many folks had something to say about that, The permanent home of this entry is here: Link
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